How we deal with things...

[Dollygirl2008]

Just wondered how all you wonderful ladies deal with the awfulness when you are left.

Part of me tortures myself - envisaging, wondering what they're doing, picturing them etc - its almost as though its a bruise I can't leave. I suppose I'm trying to come to terms with the worst because that means it can only get better? Or do people think the best way to handle these situations is to ignore, keep busy, block out - but doesn't it all just come rushing in anyway if you DONT deal with it?!?!

Confused and interested...

You keep busy. You set yourself goals, small to start then bigger, more ambitious goals. You make an effort with how you look each day and practise gratitude for what you have rather than resentment for what you haven't. Eventually, you become this stronger person who likes being independent, enjoys their own company and doesn't suffer fools.

At this point, you're ready to have a go at another relationship...but you're never going to make the same mistakes you made before. And, you've raised the bar too.

Independence is a life changing experience because you wake up to the fact that you're special, important and deserve the very best. No-one ever tells you that you see... and we spend so many years being people pleasers, agonising over naff relationships that should've been binned within weeks of starting up.Its something you have to learn the hard way sadly. Eventually, you do and look in the mirror one day and say 'You are fabulous!" And you are. And you will be.