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Original poster

Massively overthinking things here but wtf did he mean?

39 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 07/09/2015 19:08

I've been dating this guy for about 4 months. I really like him but am not in love with him. However, we were talking the other day and he said that his ex-wife liked me and that she was 'really happy for us'. He then said that she got involved too quickly and he wasn't the same. He then said he was sorry but he wasn't 'skipping down the road.' I assumed he meant he wasn't in love with me and I'm 100% ok with that.

But since then I've been playing it over and over in my mind and now I'm wondering all sorts-was he warning me off falling for him? I know I'm massively overthinking it, is there any way I can broach it without sounding like a needy loser?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 08/09/2015 09:20

I think what he was trying to say was "It ddn't mean anything. It was just a throw away commnt." and I think you should treat it as that.

Bathtime I think you've extrapolated a LOT out of what he's said!

MiddleAgedandConfused · 08/09/2015 09:27

I don't think he meant anything bad...
Sounds like he was reassuring you that there would be unlikely to be any probs with the ex as she likes you.
The skipping down the road bit is just saying he is not rushing into anything with you - he's taking his time to get it right.
I don't think he is playing mind games here - just being open about stuff.

Isetan · 08/09/2015 09:38

I think the problem is that your reluctant to ask for clarification and the tying yourself up in knots happens, when you try and figure out what someone else meant on your own. Start as you mean to go on and if he doesn't want to explain what he says then he shouldn't say it, don't be fobbed off.

My Ex had a habit of talking in riddles and at the time I ignored it but later, after our relationship ended, I realised it was his way of talking when he didn't want to be challenged. It was a very frustrating relationship because conversation never really had any depth and it was only later that I found out that his opinions and expectations of me were reserved for his friends and family, if he had told me the bullshit he told others, it would definitely have been challenged.

TheStoic · 08/09/2015 12:20

But I so think it's a bit of a warning sign to be telling the other person that you're not!

Exactly...who says that?? I'd be thinking 'Don't flatter yourself, sunshine. There's no skipping going on over here either.'

He sounds very arrogant to me.

BathtimeFunkster · 08/09/2015 12:59

Bathtime I think you've extrapolated a LOT out of what he's said!

Maybe so, but having someone advise me not to read too much into something they had said would infuriate me.

"I'll read what I want, thanks all the same.

I barely know you, so things you say are what I'm going on."

Sanchar · 08/09/2015 13:05

I'm reading it completely differently.

I see it as him not being happy for his ex being in a relationship.

Firstly because he said she got involved too quickly, then says he's not skipping down the road about it. In other words he's not jumping up and down with joy for his exes happiness.

Sanchar · 08/09/2015 13:08

Oops. Read it wrong, I thought he was talking about his exes new relationship too.

I'm off to put my glasses on before I post againGrin

Jackie0 · 08/09/2015 13:16

It certainly reads like he wasn't overjoyed at his ex new relationship in the same way she is happy for his.
He should have kept quiet, that isn't really info you need .

Blu · 08/09/2015 15:19

We don't even know the ex has a new relationship Confused

I thought he meant she got too involved too quickly with him?

lavenderhoney · 08/09/2015 20:35

Did she get involved too quickly with him:)

I think he means he's not in a hurry and being steady about you or he's just having fun with your until Ms perfect comes along.

If you're with him but not in love, do you mean you think you might be one day after the lust has gone or you're happy with him right now, and not skipping down the road yourself at being with him?

BertieBotts · 08/09/2015 20:41

From what I can see I would imagine that he meant his ex-wife came on very strong and he got really caught up in things and he doesn't want another whirlwind romance, and he's letting you know in case you do.

But really clumsily.

And the comment about his ex-wife liking you is odd. Is she an ex or not??

It's hard to tell if he's just expressed himself really clumsily or is still interested in her in some way.

Duckdeamon · 08/09/2015 20:41

Why, here and in your text to him, are you labelling and criticising yourself for "overthinking" and presenting your Q about what he meant by his comment in an apologetic way?

Eekaman · 08/09/2015 21:19

It's been a mere four months into a relationship... isn't it a little early to start planning the rest of your life OP?

Chill, go with the flow, see where the journey takes you, no need to rush. Good luck.

Original poster
MyGastIsFlabbered · 09/09/2015 07:15

I can't answer everything as it might out me and I can't be 100 % sure his ex doesn't use MN!

Basically his ex falls in love very quickly, so she'd assumed we were madly in love...we're not and I think that's what he meant.

It has only been 4 months, I have no idea what the future holds and haven't really considered it, I only left ex 6 months ago so it's far too early to be thinking about it.

I'm just going to keep going with the flow and not worry about it.

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