Am I being selfish??

[Rugbycomet]

A bit of background....every year we go to the same long haul destination for Xmas. Three children 26,24 and 21 and dh. This year it's going to be different. The children cannot come due to their work commitments and have arranged their Xmas with relatives. DH also can't actually do Xmas day etc due to his work commitments but can do early December until mid. I don't work and I usually go out early December returning mid Jan. I have plenty of friends over there so it's not a problem at all. DH has said I should do the same this year and it's not a problem for him. Xmas is really only two days.

The dilemma I have is that I would love to do this but my head and heart feel that I am being selfish. My son, 24, is also compounding this by playing on my heart strings and saying why wouldn't I want to spend Xmas with him. He will be with my DH.

Opinions please??

Sorry, perhaps the title should read.....Would I be selfish to go away for my usual amount of time??

But if you don't work, why don't you go after Christmas for your usual six weeks and have Christmas here with your children and husband?

It depends on how big Christmas itself is to you and your family. I know in some families it is not a big deal, in ours it is a chance for us all to spend at last the day itself together.

atl least

Sorry.... Don't want to drip feed but we don't live in the UK but the 26 and 21 year olds do. This is why it makes it so complicated. It is even more complicated due to other reasons that I don't want to go into.

I've just spoken to a friend and I feel the way forward is to give them all a couple of dates before Xmas for a Xmas weekend here. Hopefully that should work.

Your son needs to grow up.

Hard to say without the full picture.

Christmas doesn't have to be a big deal, and your DC are adults now.

However, if you don't work you could go at any other time of the year? Or are you going to see other family who expect you to be there over Christmas?

I think I'm a little confused who's involved!

If you are planning on a 6 week holiday over the Xmas period but several of your DC/DH aren't entirely happy with this and would like to spend Christmas together then... actually, unless there are very pressing reasons why you have to go to this other destination for six weeks in December, than I would say you were being a little selfish.

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, my son does need to grow up. We all think the same
It doesn't have to be for six weeks for myself but it makes the flights considerably cheaper ie...think four other flights could be purchased for the price of one two week flight. We are very lucky to have a house there and DH and I agree that it should be used as much as possible.
I guess I am being selfish.

Don't be such a martyr! How is it selfish for a woman with grown up kids to do what she normally does?
Life changes. Their lives now include work commitments.
If a 24yo can't cope without mummy at Xmas, he needs a therapist!