Driving myself crazy - advice needed

[Reese123]

I was with someone that I had strong suspicions was cheating on me - I ended it.

But how do I stop driving myself crazy thinking "what if" the guy never gave me any answers in this scenario and I'm the kind of person that needs answers.

It doesn't help I live 5 minutes away from him. Any advice on how to handle this situation and how I can stop driving myself crazy?

I think you have to just move on. I made myself Ill last year due to similar situation and I obviously still have no idea what was going on. But give yourself some credit for ending it x

You've done the right thing by ending it- it can be difficult especially if you don't feel you have the answers you need, but would it make any difference? The more you find out the more questions you would probably have. Try and not over think it and just start to move on.

Why do you feel you need answers? What difference will it make now if you get these answers, seeing as you've (quite rightly, if you weren't happy) ended the relationship already? What benefit is it to you now to still be thinking about it?

I don't ask those questions to be nosy but rather those are things you could try to reason through with yourself to help remind yourself that your current thinking pattern isn't useful.

So reasoning with yourself, and distraction. Those are my tools in this kind of situation.

I felt it was a good relationship, he was really caring and loving to start off with. I feel I need answers to move on.

And to know it wasn't my fault

It wasn't your fault whatever the answers are. It really really wasn't.

Why do you think it could be your fault?

I don't think its my fault - I just think what if I was wrong

Hi Reese. I can identify with how you are feeling. I still want answers from my ex p, despite it being me who finished it. It's nearly 3 months now & I torture myself everyday with 'what if...'. He was also very attentive & loving at first (about 9 months) & I just don't understand what happened to make him change. But he did & I couldn't cope with him. I'm filling my life with my DC, my family & the friends I have who really care for me. Try to stop waiting for answers because you probably won't ever get them. Focus on yourself & what's important in your life. Good luck.

The thing is, there was no trust. There were reasons you were suspicious and you know what, our instincts are generally right. So, there was not a relationship worth keeping. It's no way to live, being worried and suspicious all the time. What it comes down to is, did you feel safe emotionally with him? And you didn't.