I don't know what to do. Dh and I have a toddler and I am also pregnant. We moved here for work and live hundreds of miles from our families. We also both work in busy, demanding jobs. We've been having a very stressful time with our home - dodgy builders etc, although it's mostly sorted now.
Recently I've been feeling like I'm on eggshells all the time with dh. Neither of us are perfect, but I feel that he's hyper critical of my faults and he points them out all the time. For example, if I say something on a morning which isn't completely bright and breezy, he will almost certainly say "oh you're not going to be shitty again all day are you?" So I then have to pretend that he hadn't annoyed me/hurt my feelings, and try to prove that I'm in an amazing mood. If I don't, he'll sulk or have a go at me for being shitty. If I complain about anything inconsiderate that he does, he flies off the handle and accuses me of being shitty. It's his favourite word.
Almost a year ago we ordered some new bathroom stuff. We accidentally ordered 2 taps, because the site suggested that we'd need it. Anyway, I found the spare tap yesterday and asked why we had it. He said it was because I'd ordered 2 because I hadn't understood the website. I know it's only a small thing, but it was a joint decision and it was nearly a year ago. I feel like he keeps tabs on mistakes I make so that he can bring them up in the future.
Another daft example - he made a big batch of stew yesterday. We always freeze portions. This morning he said that we needed to put it in freezer bags. I said "yes just let me get this one load of washing out and I'll be there". When I came back in 5 minutes later he'd gone back to bed (after putting dc down for a nap). I pottered about the kitchen for a bit and eventually went for a shower.
When I came into the bedroom afterwards he said that we were meant to have bagged up the stew, and I'd said I just had one load of washing to sort. I replied that yes, I had sorted the washing and come back in to find he'd gone back to bed, so I'd waited for a bit and then gone for my shower. His comment had felt like a dig. I then said something like, "ok, is that a problem?" I know I shouldn't have. He then shouted that there I went again, couldn't I say anything without being shitty? I stayed quite calm and repeated the conversation back to him. He stormed out.
I then said that maybe we should separate. He said nothing, just walked out of the roomroom. He's in the kitchen now bagging up the damn stew on his own.
It's stuff like this all the time. We argue all the time. I feel terrible and so sad. I'm so worried that our beloved dc will become aware of it. I don't know how we'll cope with 2 dc if things don't improve. Our families are supportive but they're so far away. We have good friends locally but I'm ashamed to tell them how bad it's got.
Any advice would be really appreciated.