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Original poster

long nails on husband

21 replies

trodalong · 06/09/2015 00:26

He plays the guitar therefore he says he needs long nails. Funnily enough he has guitat for 25 years but the long nails have just come up. The nails disgust me
I find them repulsive. We are heading for separation.

Husband thinks im not accepting him for what he is. How many people would find the long nails attractive?

OP posts:
IguanaTail · 06/09/2015 00:28

Not me - make me feel sick. And long toe nails

scatterthenuns · 06/09/2015 00:30

Guitar playing does not require long nails. I am in band, nails are a hinderance.

ProfessionalPencilSharpener · 06/09/2015 00:34

My husband (who used to play professionally!) says this is absolutely unnecessary; he was able to get the right tone using the flesh of his fingers. Every guitarist is different I guess, but he says it's not something he would have considered, and it's not essential.

Original poster
trodalong · 06/09/2015 00:35

He says he uses them for a technique like a plectrum.

OP posts:
Original poster
trodalong · 06/09/2015 00:36

I don't know how to get through to him that i don't find it attractive.

OP posts:
Original poster
trodalong · 06/09/2015 00:39

He said he wants to go to counselling as he is not happy and then will make his mind up about whether he is happy to be with me.

Seems like a power trip to me. Like i have to wait until he makes his mind up

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 06/09/2015 00:44

Is it just on one hand? Because on the left hand nails are definitely a hindrance when playing guitar.
Is this really about nails though? What else is going on?

Original poster
trodalong · 06/09/2015 00:53

Just on one hand.

We have a lot of financial issues. Only he doesn't seem to see the need to step up. Because being happy is more important to him than seeking career progression.

Very low pay in his current job. He doesn't want to explore other sideways career moves where there is potential to earn more.

The nails make me just feel we aren't heading towards the same direction in life.

OP posts:
Original poster
trodalong · 06/09/2015 00:56

Is it wrong to ask a husband to cut his nails because I don't find them attractive?

OP posts:
Joysmum · 06/09/2015 00:57

On my hubby, they'd not be an issue as I love and respect him. If I was on the verge of separation I'd see it and something else negative.

Original poster
trodalong · 06/09/2015 01:01

Every time I catch sight of them they make my skin crawl.

It would be the same way that if i didn't do my legs, he wouldn't want to have sex with me.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 06/09/2015 01:54

The nails clearly aren't the issue- you've lost respect for him generally due to the work stuff. Do you see this as just one more sign he prioritises his fantasy music career over your life together?

He doesn't need the nails to play guitar, but it's a stupid shallow reason on its own to end a relationship over. As would you not "doing" your legs be.

Name your problem if you want to fix it. Don't focus on the symptoms.

wafflyversatile · 06/09/2015 02:43

He's allowed to be happy in a low paid job and to have long nails.

You're allowed to want to split up. You don't need long nails as an excuse.

Zillie77 · 06/09/2015 02:56

Nails don't need to be very long for guitar-playing, just a couple of mm beyond the tip of the finger. He could trim them to that length.

But aside from that, I do agree that the nails are not the real issue.

Mouthfulofquiz · 06/09/2015 03:02

Does he play classical guitar? In which case, they are sort of necessary - sorry!!
If he just plays run of the mill guitar chords then that is not necessary.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/09/2015 03:24

Every time I catch sight of them they make my skin crawl. Because you don't love him. Symptom, not the cause. ExH used to make me pissed off in all sorts of tiny ways. Current DH could do a shit ton of crap and I would still be 'ahhhhh'ing.

itsraininginbaltimore · 06/09/2015 03:37

This is obviously about so much more than just the nails, but they would appear to be the nail in the coffin of your relationship if you'll pardon the pun.

But on the subject of the nails alone, I would feel exactly the same as you - I detest long nails on men, whether grown intentionally long or just not clipped properly out of laziness. They make me feel decidedly queasy. If I was totally in love with someone and they then grew their nails for good reason I might be able to get past it, but I could never ever in a million years feel a physical attraction to someone who had long nails to start with, even if the rest of them was Adonis-like.

Kingie1 · 06/09/2015 03:43

You can't deny social conditioning. I guess none of us truly know what we find attractive. We just think we do.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 06/09/2015 04:03

He wouldn't want to have sex with you if you didn't do your legs? Shock

That alone is weird in a married couple. Of course it's nice if you like them smooth and he does and that happens now and then....but like most women, you can't always be arsed...he shouldn't be that affected!

But then the nail thing...that would not bother me in a man I loved. I suspect you can't see past them because it's only a tiny aspect of the problems.

itsraininginbaltimore · 06/09/2015 04:09

To be honest I don't like really long nails on women either, unless they are painted they always look a bit grubby and seedy and creepy.

ShizeItsWeegie · 06/09/2015 08:05

I had an ex with long nails for playing guitar so just on one hand and it used to freak me out utterly. I don't know if I just didn't notice in the early stages or he grew them later but long nails on a bloke are out of proportion a bit of a creep fest I think! I left him for being a total tosser in many other departments too and had forgot about the nail thing until now so I agree with other posters on here - symptom not a cause.

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