Talking about sex to DS 18

[AWayToGo]

DS is 18 and has his first girlfriend - shes a little younger. Feel i need to have the sex talk with him - don't rush into anything and don't get her pregnant is what i want to say. Don't think they're having a sexual relationship yet, but what do I know?

I don't have clue what to say ot him, or even if I should. Any thoughts?

Shodan that is a brilliant way of doing it. Your DS reaction had me crying with laughter... All I could see in my head was Simon from the Inbetweeners

How old is she? If under 16 then you need to talk about legalities etc.

I'm assuming he knows about contraception? I do think that if you haven't talked about sex before it will be so embarrassing for him the talk will be useless.

Where is the OP? I'm very new to MN, do people often post things and then wander off?

I think if there had been an ongoing conversation about sex/relationships/respect/consent happening in the op's house, then she wouldn't have felt the need to ask if it were appropriate/needed. It would just be happening.

Yes - what is gf's age? 14/15? I'd be having serious words about possible consequences. 16+? more of a chat.

Unless the girlfriend is under 16 you say nothing! He's an adult now, he probably knows more about sex than you could imagine maybe if he was 14 or 15 ish then you'd say something but as others have said 18 is way too old to bring it up now!

18 is way too old to be having the 'sex talk' but it's never to late to have a conversation about responsibility. Relationships are more than just sex though, so expand the dialogue to include other aspects of healthy relationships; respect, kindness, honesty etc.

I never had the sex talk with my mother but Mizz and Just Seventeen, thankfully clued me in. The only advice my mother gave (in a rare moment of candour), was that teenage boys knew shit and often their poor knowledge was acquired from equally clueless peers and porn. Society rarely expects them to be responsible and that explains a lot of their behaviour. Of course that was a generalisation but sadly not at all uncommon.

Rather than a birds and bees talk (which will be old news to him and excruciating for you both), perhaps it would be better to have a general chat about relationships? If he's still a virgin then I imagine that he will have got a lot of info and expectations about sex/relationships from porn. It may be as well to set him straight, and talk to him about respect and emotion in relationships, which you are in a much better position to educate him about (and will be a million miles less embarrassing).

He's probably never going to talk to his mum about his sex life, but if you show him you're there to listen and understand when needed he might just open up to you about his emotional life which is arguably more important.

Do you mind me asking why you've left it so late?