confussed

[jesy]

Hi
I've not been on here in a while, life been pretty rubbish finally sort help with depression but struggling on the medication .
But main thing is my relationship , I'm not sure I love him anymore been spending time with a mate who I think I'm falling for its silly little things like his smile way he walks , I'm not his type I know but I think about him so much.
He seeing some one and I get jealous , I don't think of him sexuality but I'd be gutted if I lost him as a mate.
He helping me cut down on the drink something my bf don't know about.

I just feel today like the world is against me

Although you may feel like it, the world isn't against you and will work for you if you let it.

Are you living with your bf and are you sure he doesn't he know about your drinking? In any event, it sounds like its time to end the relationship and for you to start concentrating on quitting the demon drink and looking after your body as well as your mind.

By transferring your affections to another man who knows about your alcoholicism you could be looking for someone to rescue you, but as he's not romantically available you're only going to create more problems for yourself if you become fixated with him

What medication are you taking for your depression and have you been assessed for counselling? Have you had any help from health professionals with regard to giving up alcohol and do you go to AA meetings?

I stay with him a few nights a week And get rid of wine before he gets home.
He knows about my friend and accepts it he has two female mates who he close to so can't object to my friend.
Not going to meeting and medication sent me crazy I'm trying on my own

You really need to be single. You're with someone that you don't trust enough to tell about your problems - even though you'll tell other people. He's not for you. And the new one isn't either - you're just transferring your affection because he's helped you.

Seriously - be single for a while. You've had so much drama with this current relationship, hiding it from people, complicated stuff about his friends... Imagine if you could pour all the energy you've wasted on that into YOU, into getting yourself stronger?

Stop putting your energy into men, put it into you.

With best will in the world, honey, you're not going to be able to do it alone.

Start the process by going to your nearest AA meeting www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/AA-Meetings/Find-a-Meeting and get back to your GP for a change in the medication which was prescribed but doesn't suit you.