Do you have a partner wish list?

[ThomasRichard]

Not the names of partners you might like! but the attributes you find attractive and either found or look for in a partner? I'm just about summoning up the courage to think about dating and it seems to be one of the standard questions for OD so I was wondering what MNers have on their wish lists.

Mine is something like:

• kindness
• intelligence
• integrity
• organisation
• drive

No angry alcoholic arseholes.

I'm glad some posters have found what works for them :)

There are so many compliacted bits that are important. My expanded list could go on forever.

• Must be willing to love my kids as their own.
• I'd be willing to give it a go with someone with their own children but I don't want to have any more babies.
• Doesn't want pets, ever.
• Responsible, financially sound.
• No addictions, or unstable mental illnesses.
• Thoughtful, considerate and selfless.
• Pitches in with the parenting responsibilities and housework without a second thought.
• Age-wise, my limits are between 2 years younger than me and 15 years older.
• Interested in what happens in the world and leans towards making a positive difference rather than indifference or hostility to change.
• Neat and presentable appearance.
• Good conversationalist. I don't need someone who witters on forever but I someone who can hold their own in an intelligent discussion, set other people at ease and include everyone in a group is a must.

"I'd be willing to give it a go with someone with their own children but I don't want to have any more babies." This was an issue when I was OLD.

Men my age (40+) who:

Ruled out women with kids, even if they had their own!
Expected women to be happy to love their kids but unwilling to reciprocate!
Expect women this age to be wanting/able to have more kids!

I couldn't have any more after dd anyway, but at my age now like hell am I doing the sleepless nights etc again much as I love dd and loved it at the time (in my 20's) I'm too old for that nonsense!

I just felt they were massively unrealistic on this AND the looks issue, I'm not saying there aren't gorgeous slim 40-something women without stretch marks c-section scar, cellulite... But if you're a 40+ overweight, balding, unambitious man, with limited conversation and opinions do you really think they wanna date you!?!

I'm sure it will be an issue, especially as I'm not even 30 yet, but I suppose it means I won't be spoiled for choice.

And the other good point you make: I'm not asking for any attribute from a man that I'm not trying to cultivate in myself.

Kind
Funny
Same wave length
Same values and morals (ie not a tory)
Someone I feel proud to be with
Butterflies

"I'd be willing to give it a go with someone with their own children but I don't want to have any more babies."

Exactly, none of us are perfect, but there are certain things (especially after a shit marriage and 12 years of mostly happy single good) I'm just not willing to compromise on.

Looks aren't something that bothers me now (maybe because ex was good looking and that went spectacularly pear shaped? ) but physical attraction is part of us, but for me its how someone dresses, carries themselves, health although I am quite partial to redheads

Argh wrong quote should have been

"And the other good point you make: I'm not asking for any attribute from a man that I'm not trying to cultivate in myself."

Intelligent
Willing to give me my own space
Someone you can laugh with
As solvent as I am and not bad with money
Tall, slim and preferably dark haired
Quiet walks away from busy routes
Good at DIY

My interests are military history, gaming and economics so if they are interested in those as well it's a bonus.

Couldn't cope with an arty musical type who wasn't practical. I'm not interested in fashion and would struggle with someone who wanted to spend £100 on a t.shirt or who went shopping as a hobby.

DH and I go clothes shopping twice a year
He used to teach economics
He is very good at DIY, better than me
Will watch war films with me
Not in to gaming as much as me but does a little

He can speak Latin and I was thrilled when he told me because it means he can read inscriptions in graveyards, I only know a few words. I think that's the oddest thing I was pleased with. We are basically quite well matched geeks.

brokenhearted what I mean with that is that I am willing to give it a go with someone with DC, working to love them as my own, and I'd expect the same of them. I'm not expecting them (or me) to love my kids overnight; I'm well aware that it takes work.