Hi all.
I've name changed as I have friends on here. I'll also have to be a bit vague unfortunately.
Been with dp for 6 years. We have 2 year old ds together. Found out after 2 years he hadn't been honest about his past. I found out via a mutual friend he'd cheated on his previous gf's. And he'd also had an affair with a married woman. We worked past this. Him apologizing and explaining he lied cos he was ashamed and didn't want to mess things up with me.
Over the years I've repeatedly discovered him watching porn and searching online for pictures of other women to fantasize over. I've made it clear over and again this isn't acceptable and it makes me feel awful. I also told him I was worried about how he viewed women as sexual objects rather than real people.
This all stopped about a year ago. He went to counselling and said he'd realised some things about himself which he needed to change.
Around the same time he was invited to Amsterdam on a stag doo. We were in a bad place relationship wise and I told him I was concerned he'd end up in a strip club. And as I didn't trust him at that time, it would set back any repair I'd done emotionally. He swore he wouldn't go to any strip club. Said he'd been to one when he was 18 on his brothers stag doo and hated it. Said it ess seedy and uncomfortable and the place smelt of sweat. Said he'd never since stepped foot in one and didn't intend to start now 20 years later. Regardless he didn't go to Amsterdam and we've been stronger than ever this last year.
Last night lay in bed we were chatting and I mentioned one of my crazier friends was getting married and I'll probably be invited to her hen doo. We'd had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner so we were a bit tipsy. He dropped in to conversation that he'd been to strip bars twice since his first visit.
First time with his brother he didn't realise what it was until this girl asked for his ticket. Then he said he went to one in Australia 10 years ago with a group of friends. Then he said he went to one in Bulgaria a few months before he met me. He was with a friend who didn't want to go cos he had a gf but my dp was single and basically dragged him in. Said he paid for a private dance.
He can't understand why I'm angry. He says he lied cos it would have upset me to tell me the truth. I'm questioning everything about him. Obviously my feelings were right. He's a sleaze like the rest of them.
All this bull crap about him realising what he's done and wanting to change is just rubbish. I feel he's filtering the real him to live up to my expectations. In reality he always has and always will be a sleaze who sees women as something to glare it.
Please help. I have counselling this morning and can't even face going