A molar pregnancy

[Justafriend2014]

I am 22 years old, when I was 18 I had to have an abortion as two very large cysts were found on my ovaries and the risk was too great to keep them therefore I went through surgery to have them removed, they managed to save my ovaries. I didn’t feel as bad about that as I was very young and just at the beginning of my relationship however I am now pregnant again at 22 and I have just found out I have a molar pregnancy that only 1 in 1200 women have a chance of getting. I am devastated as I was so hopeful. My partner is 35 and has no children, I feel guilty and emotional ruined as I want to give him what he desires just as much as what I want, maybe even more. I now have to go through surgery again to have this molar pregnancy removed then await results. They then have to monitor me for 6 months or more to ensure I do not develop cancer from a certain disease this type of pregnancy causes.

I feel hopeless, empty and emotionally done with everything. I just want this whole thing over with but the hospital don’t seem to be able to give me any definitive outcome or probable outcome of anything.
Is there any other women out there who feel the same way and how do you deal with the feelings of guilt? The feeling of not being a proper woman because pregnancy keeps failing? The feeling of sadness and emptiness watching everyone around you have children? Worry about never being able to give your partner what you both desire so badly? Should I leave him so he can have children with someone else?

Hi Just - I'm so sorry you're going through this, and for the loss of your babies. I just wanted to tell you that you must try and stay positive. I had a molar pregnancy with my first baby, when I was 29. This was a much wanted, longed for baby, and like you we were devastated.

I underwent the six months testing at Charring Cross Hospital in London. Fortunately, the outcome was good. We were given the all clear and told we could try for another baby. I conceived immediately and went on to have a beautiful son. I had to be tested again after his birth. Three years later I had a beautiful baby girl. Again, I had to be tested at Charring Cross. My heart goes out to you at this terrible time, but I just wanted to try and give you something to hold onto.

Sending you a hug xx

Hi there OP

We've moved this to our relationships topic and are bumping for you
Hope you are okay

I had a molar pregnancy between my second and third children. It was worrying, but I was tested for 6 months and was fine. You will need 6 months of tests after every pregnancy or miscarriage, because the growth can happen again. Charing Cross send you very good information with the testing kits. It is all done by post and you don't actually have to go to Charing Cross Hospital.

I already had two children, but I was 38 when I had the molar pregnancy and despite another miscarriage and another 6 months of testing, I still managed to have my daughter at 40.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. It just happens and you have plenty of time to have children. Perhaps you could ask the hospital about counselling.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

I had a molar pregnancy when I was around 24. It was devastating. I wasn't ready to be a mum, though then. It was an accident (but I may have kept the baby regardless - just never got to make that decision).

I can say that ten years on, I'm 38 weeks pregnant. My baby seems healthy (though has a giant head, but so does my dh).

The testing is a pain, I know how inconvenient it is! I think they changed the protocol since I had one. Do you have to have monthly blood tests? I did for six months, with monthly urine samples for twelve months. But they sent me a letter after around ten months saying that new studies showed that it was unnecessary etc etc. (Can't remember exactly... it was a long time ago, and I tend to block bad things). I was a student at the time and ended up having a bit of a breakdown. I ended up dropping out of uni because of it.

I fell to pieces about the cancer connection, but it is extremely rare to develop cancer after a molar pregnancy. I just couldn't get it out of my head that I would get cancer. Of course I didn't!

I wish you weren't going through this. I can't help you with the guilt you're feeling, except to echo pp... you have nothing to feel guilty about. You haven't created this problem, it's just one of those things. Sadly a lot of pregnancies fail. It's not your fault. Please put the feelings of guilt away. Your partner I unlikely to blame you. He will be feeling sad, of course he will, but I highly doubt he's blaming you at all.