Now I know how you all like a good moral dilemma and this is not me so be as harsh as you like...

[MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk]

One of my friends really likes this guy and he has shown signs of interest, great..

The only problem is this guy had a very long on/off thing with a girl that my friend knows in passing. She can't work out how long ago they split up although through her sources she knows they have definitely split. She has also heard that the girl is still pretty cut up over the split.

So should she go for it or have some female solidarity and give the guy a wide birth?

I'm torn between leaving them be as it might just be an 'off' phase in their on/off relationship and for the sake of the other woman involved or should she go for it and have a bit of fun?

I'm on the fence so thought I'd throw it open...

She only knows the gal in passing, right?

And they're off as a couple.

Well, fair play.

Female solidarity, ok if they're friends. But they're not so he's fair game.

tbh, morals wouldn't come into it with me , I'd be more inclined to leave him be, just because it could very easily end up being a 'rebound' relationship - full of passion initially, then he'll dump her.

They've definitely split so he's fair game imo. He wouldn't be IF the woman was a close friend of your friends though.

Ooh even same phrase Expat!

if I didn't care if I were a rebound, that is.

Although it is a myth that no rebound relationships work out.

My mum met my dad on the rebound. But like she said, 'When you see a good thing, gotta grab it!'

That was 44 years ago. They've been married 42 and a half years.

This was me many moons ago and am still with dh. My friends were good friends with his then "just" ex. I say go for it

she should go for it

I don't think this is a moral dilemma as such - it's sad for the other girl that the relationship has ended but there's nothing your friend can do about that. She should go for it if she likes him.

Go for it I'd say, but maybe with a hint of caution for your friends own sake.

You said the girl is cut-up - does anyone know if the guy is feeling about the break-up?

Wow, I thought there'd be a load of leave him alone posts.. I just don't want her to get hurt or end up in the middle of a messy triangle.

She does know the girl but they're not friends, don't have mutual friends or anything.

I feel a bit sad for the other girl I have to admit.

Don't know how the guy is feeling.. he's very private, I've barely managed to get two words out of him.

how the guy is feeling

I would go for it..If not someone other woman may not be so thoughful .

What does she have to loose.?? Alls fair in love and war .

If she really likes the guy, though, and isn't just in it for a shag, it's possible she might be hurt.

But as long as she goes in w/her eyes open, hey, why not?

You can decide to break up with someone and still be cut up about it. After all, we have to grieve for the lost relationship. Do you know for certain that he broke up with her?

If your friend is interested, she should just go with the flow without any guilt feelings for the other girl. Relationships break up all the time. I think the human race would die out if we all gave recent break-up-ees a wide berth .

It's fairly unanimous that he's fair game.

I pretty sure he ended it (from my source) although personally I think it might be possible that he wouldn't commit and so she ended it.. will try and find out from the horse himself but he sooo is not forthcoming with any information what so ever.

Erm, just a thought, but if he tells you to mind your own F* business he wouldn't necessarily be in the wrong. He doesn't owe you any explanation of his love life, after all. There's no reason for your friend not to spend time with/get naked with/speak to this man: her refusing to touch him with a bargepole will not in any way compel him to return to the woman he split with. If the bumped woman was your friend's longstanding best friend and had asked her to leave the man alone it would be a different matter (but anyone trying to stop other people dating their exes is a bit of a tragic loser, really).