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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things I want to say but won't...

18 replies

guineapigsarecute · 31/08/2015 10:43

Broke up with a complete twat yesterday. Finally seen the light after 2.5 years and am now ignoring his texts. However there are so many things I want to tell him, so I think I'll vent on here instead.

  1. You aren't set in your ways, you are selfish.
  2. 2 bunches of flowers in 2.5 years stinks.
  3. The only chocolate you ever brought me was one bar of Galaxy. You let your DS eat it.
  4. When I cry and beg you to stop during sex and you don't, you're not being dominant, you're raping me.
  5. Never watching anything but your programs is mean.
  6. Your 'friends' in the pub aren't laughing with you, they are laughing at you.
  7. After 8 years, you should be over your ex leaving you.
  8. Buying your DC everything they want but giving no affection or boundaries isn't parenting.
  9. Your DS never saying thank you for anything is just plain rude.
10. Yes, you had a tough childhood. You weren't abused - you need to get over it. 11. Never kissing me, holding my hand or hugging me hurts. 12. Getting on with my ex doesn't mean I want to get back with him. 13. Meeting OW, texting OW, chatting with OW on Facebook isn't acceptable. 14. You can't handle your drink. At all. And you aren't 'okay' when you're drunk - you're nasty and aggressive. 15. You had a good woman in your life, who loved you and supported you. Who cared for you and your children, who stood by you and wanted a future with you. You lost her.

I feel better for doing that. It's so raw, it hurts and I'm crying a lot, but I know I needed to leave the relationship. If you could call it a relationship.

Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Vixxfacee · 31/08/2015 10:45

Well done for leaving. Stay strong. He sounds like a vile cunt!

DoreenLethal · 31/08/2015 10:47

I an very glad you are out of that. Can you block him so that you don't have to read/ignore his texts?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/08/2015 10:48

Guineapigs - I'm so glad you've seen the light and left the abusive rapist bastard.
Sorry that it hurts, but you'll be SO GLAD in a short enough time that you found the strength to get shot of this fucker.

(((hugs))), Thanks and Wine for you. x

pocketsaviour · 31/08/2015 11:45

Well done for leaving the bastard. I would recommend doing the Freedom Programme if you have a course near you. Just to cement that you deserve so much better than this. Flowers

staffiegirl · 31/08/2015 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotSoDesperateHousewife · 31/08/2015 12:00

Did you just leave my ex?? Well done, you're fabulous! Flowers

noiwontstoptalking · 31/08/2015 12:03

well done guinea. I only need to read as far as number 4 to see how right you are. Well done.

Block his number. Cut him out of your life.

It wasn't you, it was him.

goddessofsmallthings · 31/08/2015 12:24

This man isn't a 'twat'. He's an out an out cunt and I'm wondering why it has taken you 2.5 years to leave him? Were you living together?

You can do the Freedom Programme online here: www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php

contractor6 · 31/08/2015 12:28

Well done for leaving, go the shops and get some yummy chocolates and nice flowers...who needs men Wink

guineapigsarecute · 31/08/2015 13:58

Thanks everyone, your comments are just what I need to stay strong.

Not living together, and I don't know why it took me so long. I'm think I suffered from not wanting to quit and write off the time we'd already spent together. And definitely guilty of wanting to fix him.

And I'm not good on my own, I like being in a relationship.

Reasons, rather than excuses - I know they don't really make sense though x

OP posts:
theredjellybean · 31/08/2015 14:03

how on earth did you stay with him ???
what took you so long ????
look at the light...thats a huge light shining on you to show you life can be glorious and golden and sparkly ....and you do not need that awful man.

theredjellybean · 31/08/2015 14:04

oh yes buy your own flowers and chocolates and eat them all yourself but remember to say thankyou to yourself afterwards :)

Threefishys · 31/08/2015 16:34

I'm a bit aghast that number 4 is popped in casually amongst the not buying chocolate etc. I would have thought it would have been number 1 and no further reason required. However, hope the future is brighter from now on.

Robotgirl · 31/08/2015 21:24

Stay strong, guineapig
Be kind to yourself. He sounds like a total shit. You've totally

Robotgirl · 31/08/2015 21:25

....find the right thing!

Robotgirl · 31/08/2015 21:25

Oopssss.. Done the right thing!!

Rockaria · 31/08/2015 22:53

Well done! I could've written many of your bullet points about my ex, especially the bit about his parenting & not being over his ex...! I too felt like you: I wanted to 'fix' him & his issues, I took care of him & accepted him & his kids. But it wasn't enough. In the end I did what you did & called time. Hate being on my own tho...Flowers

TwoTwentyGowerRoad · 01/09/2015 08:04

There will be a good reason his ex left him. He is probably bitter about it because she did the dumping. He will be bitter with you too for the same reason. Stay strong. There is no doubt his 'dominant' personality will get him in trouble in the future and you may be called to testify. Please do.

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