When I met DP he had 3 yo twins who are now 9. I had a 2 yo DD who is now 8 and now together we have three DC aged 3, 2 and 5 months. We moved in together 2 yrs ago because he worked away and I was studying before that but I (we) have been much less happy since living together. I feel totally claustrophobic because I have either the kids or him touching me 24/7, I literally do not get a single second to myself all day. I am a SAHM and he does nothing around the house bar washing up, the kids don't want him to do anything for them.
His DC are refusing to have contact because they have various issues like they don't want the other DC to ever touch their things etc. He has no authority and parenting is only made harder by him being here. I love him but I hate living with him. Any time I have my hands free he's pouncing on me for a cuddle. He tells me 1000 times per day how much he loves me and finds me irresistible. It's all too much. I was so much happier when I had a nice clean house, could have some time to myself when the DC were in bed, could see him on mutually agreed terms etc.
The 3 yo starts nursery on Tuesday and he's constantly nudging and winking about how we can get the other two to nap together so we can get it on. I just want a break from being responsible for someone else's happiness. By living together I can't afford to work because he earns too much for tax credits but not enough to contribute to childcare so it means I'll never have the career I want and have worked hard for and we'll never be able to afford to buy a house or have holidays.
If we lived separately he could see his DC and they could have their ownrooms and belongings and would be happier. I could pursue my career and be happier and we could have a better quality of life and save for the future. Or should I accept that I'm just better off alone? He says he'll give up his DC if they're refusing to come but I can't respect a man who could do this and think its only putting off the problem til the future anyway.