Is there a future?

[bluebrightbluesaturday]

Please help before I descend into very unattractive self-pity... NC because I'm terrible for posting loads of identifying info, the man in question knows my old username and I like the song.

Have ended a very unhealthy relationship which was making me miserable. I honestly thought he could change but I now know he can't and that we don't have a future together. Well I think I know that. The problem is so many of my friends are happily married and reproducing and I feel like I might have missed the big and would be better off sticking with the current/ex and hoping things change.

Please can someone tell me that they met someone wonderful in their thirties and went on to have a family. Everyone around me seems to be suggesting I've left it too late but I accept that I am currently massively over sensitive about this and might be reading everyone's minds inaccurately. Have nice house, good career etc but all I ever wanted was a family and I don't know how I've ended up here. Being tested for PCOS at the moment which is worrying me totally unnecessarily (I have read through the TTC boards and seen the happy stories so I know it's not the end of the world. Am 31 but feel about a hundred right now. Have to meet baby nephew this weekend which am dreading.

Thanks for reading. Am a bit of a mess this morning.

Boat not big. Don't know how you can miss the big (though I'd probably manage)

I can understand why you feel like that but really you have time. I had my dcs at 35. So you could easily meet someone in the next 4 years.(or longer)
Don't do what I did and stick with the unhealthy rs because time is running out. You will end up with dcs eith a useless dad and tied to someobe who makes you miserable. Even if you ltb they still cast a shadow.

You did right to get rid.

Be focused. Look for a rs knowing that this one has to be good enough to be the father of your dc. Don't waste time on the unduitable and that will free up more time for a good man.

So don't think of this breakup as giving up on a potential father for your kids so much as allowing yourself to find them a dad.

Good luck.

Typos soz. Unsuitable etc. Etc.

I married in my mid thirties and had a family. We divorced this year.
Relationships can be unhealthy no matter how old you are.

I had children with Mr Unsuitable and Thought He Would Change. Then I became a single parent age 33 (my choice) and thought that was my life over in terms of having a relationship. Except it wasn't of course and I have a wonderful DP who loves me and the children. I hate that I still have to communicate with the ex but I plaster on a smile and get on.

You have plenty of time OP. Loads. You did the right thing by sacking your ex and now you can focus on you.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I feel a bit more hopeful. Am rubbish at focussing on me but aren't we all. Am booking up some weekends away to catch up with friends who will be delighted at the (metaphorical) demise of Mr Unsuitable (though they generally prefer the name dickhead). and for me. Always been a bit secretly jealous of people who lose loads of weight at times of emotional stress.

And you know what op...the right man may be just happen when you're not focussing on finding him!
I've met the loveliest man in my mid fifties.

31 is young. No need to settle down with a twat just to have DC. You've got plenty of time to meet a good partner. Even if you don't, you would still be better off as a single mother (sperm bank!) than living with a bad partner.

One of my closest friends met the love of her life at 37 and had a child at 40.

My cousin has just had her third child at the age of 43.

My boss had her second child at the age of 42.

My mother was recently asked out on a date at the age of 65.

I was diagnosed with PCOS as a teenager and obsessed over it for years. In my 30s, I was scanned again and it had gone. I conceived naturally the next month.