I've been so mean to my ill DP :(

[tigertum]

DP has been off work on holiday for two weeks. The last three days he has had a lurgy and done nothing bar one episdoe of washing up and keeping DS occupied with the laptop/beebies. Naturally I've offered to do everything and plied him with Lemsips, food, and expected him to do nothing apart from sit on the sofa/go back to bed. I had a similar bug last month and I felt like death but struggled through without retreating to bed or doing anything different - because I had no option. DP bathed DS while I washed up. That was my break.

He has never experienced the horror of having to slump out of bed and look after a 18 month old from 7am when you feel like total shit. Surely I should feel glad that my being here prevents DP from ever suffering like that - but I'm not - I just feel really fucking resentful! I've tried to mask this and ended up not really talking to him all day today. Indignant little thoughts keep popping into my head like 'well I didn't get to lay in until luchtime for two days and sit on the sofa'. It also bugged me that even though he was so ill, he kept staying up stupidly late at night and probably making himself worse. Am I a horrible person to feel resentful towards my ill DP? I am aren't I ?

No.

Feel free to point out that once he's better, you're having a weekend off.

Then go out and leave him to it

If he was/is that ill, why stay up ? When I feel like shit with the lurgy I get up as usual with the children, carry on all day as usual, BUT I crawl into bed as early as i can manage of an evening, dosed up with whatever lurgy remedy I think I need.

Feel exactly the same about my dp.

It is annoying.

are all men like this then, because this is exactly what it's like with my dh when he is ill. I usually do what hunkermunker suggests and go out for a couple of hours on my own.

I know exactly where you're coming from - my dp has a week off work and lay in bed today until 9am when I cracked and pulled the duvet off him by which time I had walked the dog, fed three children breakfast, changed and dressed the baby, emptied the dryer so that I could empty the washing machine so that I could put some more washing on, washed up and done the school run, run around with the hooover and paid the milkman err £110!! (with a cheque that may well bouce if I don't get online now and transfer money from the other overdraft which is not at its limit.)

And I thought I would gt a bit of a break this week...

I am now at work simmering nicely...

Sorry to hijack your thread but needed to get that off my chest!

Yep sounds familiar. Nasty little niggly resentful voice that you can't silence.

Until last week when I had a migraine - Dh came home from work to find me crying and banging my head against the wall (no ....honest, it was a really really bad one - worst for about 9 years!), dinner burning in the oven, kids all over the place, house in chaos....and he instantly went into Florence Nightingale mode and sorted everything and took care of me as best he could. I'd never have got that much care if it was a cold - and I'm ashamed to say he'd probably never had got that much care from me ...ever House was still chaotic when I got up the next day but I didn't care.

Message withdrawn

It can definitely be fatal - many women have killed their other halves under these circumstances.

LOL tc58

I'm glad I'm not the only one with those niggling thoughts of resentment.

DP went back to work today, came home bathed & read books to DS and went out to do the Tesco run - so all is forgiven. Until man Flu strikes again that is.

Had a scarey thought though. I think maybe I've now joined the ranks of women, like my MIL, who have struggled through the day with groaning flu-like illnesses and now have no sympathy for anyone else who is ill - unless they are ill and looking after children. When DP and I lived with my MIL (don't even go there!) she would kind of snort/scoff at me when I was ill and took one or two 'douvet days' off work. This really pissed me off at the time and I couldn't understand it, but I've been exactly like that to DP. I know she would be well used to looking after children when ill because her husband worked away allot they were small.

Tigertum, OH was the spitting image of what you describe here and if I dared to point this out, boy would I get a mouthful. However, the difference was that he would stay in bed all day, forget entertaining a child!!!! I know how you feel and I have been there a thousand times!!!!!!