Before you found out you were being cheated on was Dh or Dp still affectionate with you??

[Louisa111]

Don't want to go into too many details but I've suspected for a while my Dh has been having an affair with a work colleague. In the beginning I kept accusing, things just didn't add up. Of course he denied but my insecurities caused quite a few problems and rows between us.

Late last year I took a step back, anything I wasn't sure about I kept it to myself although there didn't seem to be much going on.

However now at times I'm still not sure, too many odd coincidences, to add to my problems this work colleague has been gushing about her lovely man she's been seeing for a year who works with her but they are keeping it very low key. I know this as we have a mutual friend on fb and she told me .

The thing is my dh is still being really affectionate with me, tells me he loves me etc but is it normal for someone to cheat yet still act like then are totally into their wife still??

Sometimes he was. But quite often he was short-tempered and impatient. Also he was more sexual at times. It went in phases. He was less patient with the kids too. When the affair ended, just before I found out, he was utterly vile - to me and the children.

Louisa, I posted on one of your previous threads and got a bit flamed for my advice. After reading this and your June post, where you reveal your H had blocked you on FB, I agree I deserved the negative comments about my advice. You say you are happy but how can you truly be with so many doubts and worries? How can you accept your H blocking you from FB and detagging himself from posts about your child? What father would do that?? All the people I know use FB to gush over their partners and family. My H gets angry with me cause I don't look at his page enough! I know you have been with your H a long time and have a child but is this what you expected your life to be like? Or want it to be? I don't think your H is honest or honourable. I think you should get an appointment with a marital counsellor - just for yourself - and talk through what is going on in your marriage and how to move on.

Louisa, seriously, why are you tolerating this. It's as plain as day there is a massive lack of respect for you here.

Louisa, just had a thought. Why don't you install a tracking app on your phone and accidentally leave it in his car? When you retrieve it you can check where he's been? Xxx

I've just gone and found your June thread re. the FB blocking.

It seems quite clear that he doesn't want to be linked to you on FB, and doesn't want you to see what he has on FB - and in all honesty the ONLY reason I can think of for a husband to do that (assuming his FB account is not a business type one) is that he doesn't want other people to know he is still part of your family.

It's all adding up - what do you want him to do, write a note for you?

YES there might be an innocent explanation - I've been there myself with finding the most tortuous explanations that still show a lying cheat to be an innocent party - but tbh, chances are he's cheating on you.

Your move.

My ex was as clingy as hell, affectionate, wanting sex, then alternating with finding fault with everything I did. I also could not get away from him; he would insist on coming with me everywhere, and being nasty and mean the whole time.

Oddly, it had never occurred to him that I'd find out (I just knew, but it took me a while to find evidence), and he was enraged that I wanted to separate, but it only took me a fortnight to leave.

Life is lovely now - I wish I'd left the twat years earlier.

thumbwitches we sorted that out and I'm back on there although my dh hates fb and won't really use it for personal things anyway. It was an odd thing to do to me though I do agree but in no way does it point to an affair, I can't just keep accusing.
I'm happy but I'm not, it's the no knowing and suspecting that's driving me insane but he genuinely genuinely might not be having an affair, it's something I just wish i knew