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Original poster

DIY divorce - sensible or foolhardy?

11 replies

RosehipHoney · 27/08/2015 00:43

My husband is leaving dc and I, and wants to file for divorce. He wants to do everything as far as possible without solicitors. I can see the financial advantages of diy, but is this a generic way of trying to avoid paying what he isoobliged to?

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 27/08/2015 03:30

Quite possibly.

If it's about limiting financial outlay, propose a compromise: that he reads a book about divorce and prepares all the paperwork himself so that for any bit where a solicitor is needed, the time is limited.

The actual steps of filing for divorce are very simple. You don't need to pay a solicitor to come up with the wording for why you want a divorce.

On what grounds is he planning to divorce you?

But agree NOTHING and do not sigh the paperwork until you have seen a solicitor.

Do you have even the first clue about divorce law? Do you know what you and your children need, financially?

I expect not.

Blunt I'm I'm afraid but you would be a FOOL not to see an expert.

How would you even begin to know what housing / financial proposal you wanted to make?

FWIW, I made my own financial proposal, but I then took it to a solicitor.

Here's a starter for you that might make you think "fuck, I'm not winging this like the amateur I am!" (and that's not a criticism!)

Did you know, that child support above the CSA (not CMS) minimum, even if it is part of your Consent Order and sealed in court, can be stopped after 12 months? With no comeback.

So what if he is actually HONEST... Says "look, I'd rather you didn't touch my pension, but how about I give 3x CSA amount every month?" and you think - I need the cash now, so - yeah. Then in one year he's too ill to work (or, you know, gets married and has another baby and has less free cash) and he says "I can't afford that much". You're fucked. And you'll think "dammit I wish I knew that could happen - I should have negotiated more of X just in case".

It's a specialist area of law. Why wouldn't you use a solicitor?

HellKitty · 27/08/2015 04:38

Exactly what Cab says!
The maintenance only lasts 12 months (just hoping my ex doesn't realise this).

DP got divorced, no DCs, no financial links, no house and it cost just less than £1k with a solicitor. He just had a proviso that she'd have no financial claim to him. A colleague did her own divorce, one child, ex had a new baby and wanted to marry again and it was £600. All very amicable. For the sake of a couple of hundred more I would go and see a solicitor, most offer free half hour appointments for new clients.

Smilingforth · 27/08/2015 05:45

You definitely need to see a solicitor. How much you can do yourself and how much support you will need will depend how complicated your affairs are and how cooperative the other party is being.

SansaryaAgain · 27/08/2015 05:49

When XDH and I split up we used an online service to get a DIY divorce, agreeing details of a settlement together and going in front of a judge to sign the papers. It was all very easy and avoided solicitor fees. However, we had no assets like a house and, most importantly, we were childless. Had we had kids then there's no way I'd have gone down the DIY route.

Wando · 27/08/2015 06:08

There are lots of tools and guidance online to give you background as to what's required. Even if you take advice ( and I would) it is worth being informed.

MiddleAgedandConfused · 27/08/2015 09:34

I did a DIY divorce in my first marriage - we just agreed between us what we wanted, filed the paper work ourselves and that was it. BUT we didn't have any DC.
He may well seem reasonable now, but once he meets somebody else and has their voice in his ear, things will change dramatically.
You need to get good advice or you could find yourself well and truly in it a few years down the line.

Wando · 27/08/2015 10:24

The more that children are involved the more you need detailed advice and the more your breakup is contentious the more advice you need.

Wando · 27/08/2015 10:33

I think the safest policy is that if you can afford it you should get full advice

Original poster
RosehipHoney · 27/08/2015 21:24

Thanks everyone. I have had a few different free appointments, so do feel like I have had a good range of advice. Actually getting divorced, NOT the financial settlement, seems quite straightforward, and I just wondered if anyone else had thoughts on if it was worth paying a solicitor for it

OP posts:
HazelBite · 27/08/2015 23:59

I did a DIY divorce BUT there was no joint property or DC's.

I agree with Wando

Minime85 · 28/08/2015 07:11

I did my divorce myself. I did see a very good solicitor which cost 150 and was worth it to talk it over and get a feel for where I stood. I filled paper work out and Exdh saw it before it went to the court as a matter of courtesy. Cost £410. The solicitor said because it was amicable, as much as these things are, and she basically said you are an educated woman you don't need me to do this for you. I could have filled it in and have her check it over for less money but did it didn't and it all went through fine.

We agreed about all money between us too and did a consent order on line as well. I didn't know that about a consent order cab. I do have the ages of the children specified in mine for when he will pay up until and how much.

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