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Holiday Romance

62 replies

Timetorethink · 26/08/2015 18:28

OK. I am on holiday in a country in Europe where I have had a holiday home for 10 years or so. During that time, I have been very friendly with one of the locals who works in an establishment close to my apartment. He has seen the men come and go in my life, and has always been friendly - never pushy. We wish each other happy christmas - sit and chat late into the night when I am visiting. If I have male company, then he is very respectful and does not push any boundaries. He is recently divorced after 10 years or so, and has a son who lives part of the time with him.

That's the background.

I am currently single (since last summer) and have no idea whether what is happening now is simple friendly behaviour or more.

He has always been very private about his home life, but this year has opened up and told me a lot about his family etc. Last week, for the first time ever, he asked me out for lunch (then said he was sure I would not like to come as I would be far too busy!) - we had a lovely lunch (for 5 hours) and then he dropped me back to my car and I came back home. We had an unspoken agreement that no one he worked with knew that we had met up.

The following day, he called and asked me for lunch again - this was before my daughter came over to stay with me (she is 16). Again, we had a fab 5 hour lunch. His English is not great - so although we have very understandable conversations and never stop talking, some of the nuances are possibly lost in translation. He said, for example, that he had never imaging that we would be having lunch together. I was not entirely sure what to say to this. He also said that he really liked me. But there was no touching apart from a kiss on each cheek when we meet, and the usual touch contact over lunch - touching an arm, moving my fringe from my eyes - that sort of thing.

My daughter is now over - she wanted to stay in last night and spend the night talking to her friends on the internet - so I contacted "the man" to see if he would like to go out for dinner. He did, and we had another fabulous evening.

I got into my car when he dropped me back, and then he spent several minutes talking to me through the window. I had suggested to him that he may like to join me on my balcony after he finished work - he had said that was a good idea earlier, but then said that it would be difficult as he would be spotted (as my apartment is in the middle of all the restaurants and bars) and he did not want me to be embarrassed if anyone saw him. He then said that he had an apartment - but without a balcony - and I have no idea whether that was a comment or an invitation!

Oh - the other thing is that I am around 10 years older than him. Not sure whether he knows that or not ...

So. Is he interested in me romantically - and is being reserved because he does not know whether I like him in that way? Or am I reading way too much into it? And he is not interested romantically, as if he were, he would have made a move by now?

I've always thought he was a great person; works very hard, always cheerful and just gets on with whatever life throws at him. So I don't want to cause any awkwardness by launching myself at him.

But equally, I don't want to miss out on something that might be good for both of us. Blush

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 26/08/2015 19:04

Sure people will gossip, so what? Why is a grown man conducting his life around what gossips would say?

You don't know why he doesn't want to be spotted at your place, so you need to be cautious.

Tiggeryoubastard · 26/08/2015 19:04

Daily Mail. Every few months they get another 'I thought he loved me' story. They never get sympathy.

Timetorethink · 26/08/2015 19:05

TYB - I don't look older than him - I just AM older than him. It is nothing like the TV programs where they show people who have "fallen in love" on holiday. We have been friends for many years - and now is the first time we have both been single, but we are circling around the issue rather than doing anything about it. He also refuses to let me pay for anything. I have been extremely insistent but it makes no difference.

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 26/08/2015 19:06

I've seen them I'm ashamed to confess.

I was thinking more Shirley Valentine...

Twinklestein · 26/08/2015 19:07

As you've been friends for many years, why is he hiding you...?

Timetorethink · 26/08/2015 19:07

Oh - Daily Mail! That would be the last thing on my mind - as I said before, I am a very private person (apart from sharing this on the www) - and he knows this. I hate the idea of raised eyebrows and if he is as you have suggested, then I definitely don't want anyone knowing about it!

OP posts:
Timetorethink · 26/08/2015 19:09

We are going to places that he goes to regularly - for example we went to a restaurant where he took his sister who lives locally a few weeks ago. Just not the people he works with. He is friendly with them all, but not socially.

OP posts:
Timetorethink · 26/08/2015 19:13

OK. Decision made. I will drag him into my apartment, run my knickers up the flagpole on the balcony for all to see and then sit back and wait to see what happens next Grin

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 26/08/2015 19:15

Hurrah! Make sure you do live updates for us.
Have a wonderful time. I think he sounds lovely Wine

Smilingforth · 26/08/2015 19:26

Have a great time but there is no need for secrecy! It should be something to be proud of if its worth doing.

pocketsaviour · 26/08/2015 20:05

the usual touch contact over lunch - touching an arm, moving my fringe from my eyes - that sort of thing.

Touching your arm I would say was down to those excitable Mediterranean Grin types that don't have the whole personal space concept, but moving your hair out of your eyes? Come on, that's an obvious flirt.

Fannyupcrutch · 26/08/2015 20:13

I have posted very little on this forum but I need to know how this turns out. I have butterflies in my tummy for you OP! good luck Grin

Timetorethink · 26/08/2015 20:17

I will put money on us having some lovely chats tonight, and getting no further ahead than we are right now. But, armed with the above comments, I will try to make a move!

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 26/08/2015 20:18

Maybe a nice low cut top will speed things along...

PiecesOfCake · 26/08/2015 20:37

Marking place for updates.

Grin
Wando · 26/08/2015 21:06

He's definitely flirting. Have fun.

Wando · 26/08/2015 21:37

And let us know all the gossip!Wine

Timetorethink · 27/08/2015 01:03

Failed. I chickened out. So yet more nice respectful chatting and moving my fringe. Ho hum!!!

OP posts:
Wando · 27/08/2015 05:38

Oh..did he flirt again.. ?

WallyBantersJunkBox · 27/08/2015 06:02

It's the easy conclusion for us to say he's hiding something, he's ashamed etc.

Even though we see Europe as a small place the culture can be vastly different to ours especially in a small town as the op says.

My DP is Portuguese and even though we don't live in the UK or Portugal, he went to painstaking lengths to protect my respectability .

I am separated and he was paranoid about visiting the house and having the neighbours gossip about my integrity.

I didn't give two hoots! GrinGrinGrin

But he shows a remarkable level of respect and honour to me and it's not to do with hiding me, being ashamed etc. it just stems from this village life experience with everyone in your business.

Your new friend also has a lot to lose op. When you go home they'll gossip about him failing to make a relationship with the foreign lady, making a fool of himself etc, regardless of the actual situation.

Also he is perhaps dating his way, why not just enjoy the experience of someone actually just enjoying your company without rushing to the dessert trolley.

I think it means he really likes you.

Timetorethink · 02/09/2015 10:23

Update : Grin Blush

OP posts:
tableanadchairs · 02/09/2015 10:53

waiting Grin Grin

springydaffs · 02/09/2015 18:25

Oh now come ON - that is just teasing to suggest an update and not post one. You flirt you.

I actually loudly guffawed at the fringe thing.

So. He works in a bar? And you have evough wealth to own a holiday home.

I take it you've shagged him.

Timetorethink · 03/09/2015 11:17

Nope - still not got that far - but we have had some lovely days out, went to some fab restaurants (and he still refuses point blank to let me pay for anything despite some fairly robust attempts from me so currently he is definitely not after my money). His bar job is a second job that funded his son - he has a "proper" job as well but I met him through the bar initially.

But we have at least kissed and held hands - so all good with me. It makes a change not to be rushed into things. It actually feels very romantic and exciting which is nice for someone as jaded with the life of dating as I am.

And Springy - I don't think it is because he is repulsed by me that we have not "shagged" yet. I have enough attention from men in the UK to assume that is not the case Smile. But who knows! He is not from what I would call a "dodgy" country (IYKWIM)

I'm happy, he says he is happy, so all is good.

OP posts:
Timetorethink · 03/09/2015 11:19

He is incredibly respectful, and is a man, not a boy. But re reading what I have written still makes it sound like one of those TV program philanderers. Oh well. I am not marrying him, not giving him any money (and he has not asked for any; quite the opposite)

OP posts:
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