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Original poster

Strip club

43 replies

liv179 · 26/08/2015 13:52

Hi everyone,

I very recently found out that my long term partner went on a stag do and had a lap dance. He told me that his friend bought the lap dance for him but he told me that he regrets having it, he was drunk etc. in my opinion if you DIDNT want it, you wouldn't go? If I was drunk and a naked male stripper offered me s dance I would say hell no!! Every time we talk about it he tries to turn the tables on me, saying he thinks we should go on a break. I don't think he realises how much he had hurt me and betrayed my trust. I just don't know what to do anymore. He thinks if I just get everything off my chest everything will be okay but he doesn't realise that I now have trust issues. I have caught him before flirting with girls online. Does he want to be with me? When he isn't doing these things he is really nice and loving but it's always in the back of my mind that he has done this to me.

Sorry about the rambling and if it's a bit depressing haha but I just needed to get this off my Chest and get some opinions!

OP posts:
Original poster
liv179 · 26/08/2015 17:58

We'll have Naked woman rubbing her boobs and vag all over your man and then come back to me Smile

OP posts:
Robotgirl · 26/08/2015 18:40

Sounds like the trust might have gone when you found out about him contacting women online? You then looked at his phone instinctively, right? Now you know about the lap dance. OP, do you really want to put yourself through the painful, cringey existence of a relationship sans trust? Go with your heart.

AuntyMag10 · 26/08/2015 18:51

He's been flirting with other people online and do you really know if that hasn't gone further? He's lied blatantly to you about the lap dance so he's not proven to be trustworthy least of all a good partner. Dump him. Men like him aren't worth it.

Smilingforth · 26/08/2015 19:34

Good luck with whatever you decide. Only you know what you are willing to take.

pocketsaviour · 26/08/2015 20:23

OP, he's said he wants to break up ("take a break" - IME it's a man's way of saying "I want to split up but can't deal with your emotions.")

I don't think anything anyone says on here is going to help.

SickInBedOnTwoChairs · 26/08/2015 20:46

if someone said to me they want to have a break they would get one so fast! Dump him OP. He is not worth your effort.

Summerlovinf · 26/08/2015 21:38

I agree with the last few posters...he wants a break...give him a break...make it a permanent one. He couldn't give a crap what you think and doesn't want to talk about it.

Wando · 26/08/2015 21:56

Give him what he wants but on your terms. If you want him gone for good then you can make it happen. You deserve better

MrsPCR · 26/08/2015 23:26

Stepsharp I was volunteering a repeat of the lap dance for DH and he said it wasn't like that. Maybe he went to a crap strip club? I was disappointed that it wasn't as in your face as I thought.

Seems like a massive waste of money to me other than for a laugh on a stag night.

ThisIsFolkGirl · 27/08/2015 00:23

Why would you be disappointed that your husband claimed the lap dance wasn't all that great?

I don't understand.

I can understand why you might be surprised. But disappointed? It makes no sense. I think you're trying just a little to hard to either be the cool wife at home or antagonostic here.

Because 'disappointed' just doesn't make sense.

Leeza2 · 27/08/2015 03:53

" we should go on a break" means

I am not happy with you criticising me and so I will threaten you with leaving so you don't do it again

Or

This relationship isn't working for me but I'm waiting until I've met someone else before ending it

Or

this relationship isn't working for me but I want you to be the one who ends it so you take the blame

Or

I want to be with someone else but keep my options open with you in case she doesn't work out

HellKitty · 27/08/2015 04:21

You ask if he wants to be with you.

He always replies that, 'we should go on a break'.

LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAYS!

He's either saying that so you stop going on about the stripper and the women online, which seems to have worked up to now. It's said to shut you up.

Or, he wants to shag other women and 'a break' means he can wander back in to your life as and when he's done wanking around.

I think it's the latter.

HellKitty · 27/08/2015 04:22

^ actually exactly what Leeza said, her grammar is better Confused

Wando · 27/08/2015 06:15

I've just read the thread again and I'm now much clearer that there is no real alternative to a break which can be talked about as temporary but is likely to be permenant.

Leeza2 · 27/08/2015 11:15

Grin at hell kitty

I've been here for over ten years and no one has ever complimented my grammar before < preens >

Wando · 27/08/2015 15:19

Keep posting - you will need some strength and support.

Jan45 · 27/08/2015 17:26

No I wouldn't be happy with my man having some female naked gyrating and thrusting her boobs in his face, they see plenty so don't know why someone is making out they don't!

He's already proved to you that he is not trustworthy, his actions with the lap dance also shows you this, he's also asking for a break, give him it! Take the break for you, so you can decide if you are happy to be with a man that does this sort of shit behind your back. If nothing else it will show him you have a back bone.

Wando · 27/08/2015 21:17

It's not the lap dance per se ( it's ok if you tell your do and they are ok with it) it's the fact that he lied and covered up

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