I split with my mentally abusive ex over. 3 years ago. Had a few brief relationships since but nothing serious as such.
I am happy in my own company and with my kids and have loads of friends but I can't help wishing I had a partner. I even look back on the life I had with my ex... The family holidays and day trips and not that I wish I was still with him in anyway but at the same time all that I do on my own now and it can be lonely.
The things I used to look forward to like weekend drinks with friends just have no appeal and I crave a proper family if that makes sense. I keep making excuses when friends invite me to things as I just feel it's not for me now but then sitting on my own with the cat once the kids are in bed isn't going to get me anywhere either...other than spending time with my kids... Going to the gym is what makes me happiest (once I've pushed past the first 15 mins there)
Dunno if this makes sense... I'm not depressed or anything just feel like I want my life to proceed in some proper direction