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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Indecisive about weekend invitation

5 replies

AutumnHaze · 25/08/2015 22:09

Hi, an old flame of mine who knocked me back about ten years ago has invited dc and me for opening of art exhibition. Not hugely child friendly but they like him. He was massively supportive during my marriage breakdown a couple of years ago but never made a move. We telephone now, I make him laugh. Thing is, he takes a lot of my head space. I can't seem to settle back down into my peace and quiet after invitations, visits and calls. But equally I cannot seem to turn down his invitations. My head is a over the place about him: I am probably still on the rebound. But several friends have said we'd be perfect for each other. He's too polite or shy to make a move. But he already told me he wants a quiet, stay at home wife, which I am emphatically not. To and fro, I find it difficult to stop thinking about him. I should probably just stay well away for my peace of mind, right?

OP posts:
honeyroar · 25/08/2015 22:13

Even polite shy men make moves if they really want to... Has he ever made any form of a move since your split? I would either ask him how he feels or give yourself some space to get your head together.

AutumnHaze · 25/08/2015 22:20

Thanks. That's the thing. I don't know if he's made a move. He hasn't lunged for me. But he has gone massively out of his way, time, effort and also with generosity to treat and support me, also roped in his friends. I kind of feel like he might be waiting for me to make a move or signal now. I had two In even more distant past who were a bit like this: long distances travelled to cisit me but they never SAID anything...

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 25/08/2015 22:28

It sounds like he sees you as a friend only. All the things he's done would be the actions of a supportive friend. If there's nothing he's said to indicate he's open to more than that, I think you need to squash those hopes and decide if you can handle him as a friend only (which it sounds like you're having trouble with.)

That said, if you are able to handle having him as a friend, I think you should go - it would be a kind act of support towards someone who has been supportive to you. And I always think it's good for children to see a bit of culture, innit? :)

AutumnHaze · 25/08/2015 22:38

Right! Smile

Must pull myself together and stop fantasising. Grin.

I have enough on my plate anyway. Thanks.

OP posts:
Wando · 26/08/2015 08:38

You've got to fantasise a little! Good luck.

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