Friend's hen do...pregnant...help

[insertimaginativeusername]

Hi,

First post here

My friend is getting married and has organised a meal/night out and a weekend away as her hen do's. They are about a month apart. Ive just found out I'm pregnant and by my calculations I'll be 10/11 weeks by the first do. I didn't plan to share the news before 12 weeks, but think I will look like a bad friend if I simply say I can't go and don't really want to miss out either. I would normally drink and smoke so any changes in this will be obvious!

Thoughts?

tell her. it can be yours and hers secret and by the second one you'll be able to share with everyone.
drink lemonade and claim it's got a vodka in it - no one cares if you're not smoking, everyone admires someone who's quit and is envious anyway.
And congratulations!

Can you say you're on antibiotics and been told not to drink?

When I hid my pregnancy I had appletiser in a wine glass. But I'd tell your friend as a secret

Soloula if only...my friends would know instantly I'm lying. It's my second and I get asked every 5 mins if I'm pregnant or planning another.

Operaha - Most of this group smoke so would consider it highly suspicious for me not to partake in at least one!

Yes I would confide to your friend and she can help cover up for you.

Congratulations.

I went to a hen do at 11 weeks pregnant. I had my glass filled with wine, raised it to my lips repeatedly, but didn't actually drink it. Everyone else was too busy drinking to notice that mine never needed topping up again.

Didn't have to add in pretending to smoke though as i don't!

Just tell your friend. No biggie.

I found out I was pregnant four days before a friend's hen do, so was only around four weeks at the time. I got through it by faking a stomach bug, did some well thought out groundwork including a Friday night post on FB about how ill I was and a text to the hen on the day saying I was going to try and still come, but might not stay out too long. Then on the night I had lots of trips to the loo, generally looked a bit ill, had a lemonade and claimed I was seeing how a vodka lemonade went down etc... Then left early with another girl who claimed to be working early the next day (turned out she was also pregnant!).

Depending on your friend I would tell her in advance so she can help cover for you. That said, mine is a lovely girl but can get a bit loose-lipped when drunk, as she proved at her wedding when she told quite a few general acquaintances that I was pregnant (we'd told close friends the week before as it was getting a bit obvious that I wasn't drinking, I was only 8 weeks then!).

A real friend would be delighted at your news but i do understand not wanting to say until past the 12 weeks, you can still be there and have a blast and on a positive side as you are not drinking you will be trusted by her to make sure she is ok has a great time and gets home safely, and good luck and congratulations x

A friend of mine got around this problem at a hen party by becoming the chief "owner" of the kitty? She organised a whiparound for the drinks when she arrived [first there with a colourful mocktail in hand when we all arrived, with the bar man briefed], and then was the one to go to the bar every time with the cash to order the next round. After a couple of drinks no-one noticed that she was sober.

I told people I was off booze [never smoked but same applies] as we were trying and wanted to give it a good shot. The inference was that we were having trouble/not conceiving quickly and people backed right off. This was with close friends though who again immediately spotted that I wasn't drinking.

My dad knew straight away when I turned down a glass of wine with dinner. :)

Why don't you tell people now that you've given up smoking, & then tell them you're on antibiotics on the night? Sorted

Agree about the smoking thing. Theres no good reason to stay a smoker so just announce now youre giving up!

I find if you dont make a deal of not drinking, people generally dont notice. When you draw attention to it thats when people ask questions.

You are absolutely right about not making it a big deal, but crisis averted. Husband has booked a weekend away...guess when? The organiser isn't at all concerned as many people are struggling with the dates anyway due to the short notice (many are shift workers/weekend workers)

You lot are a helpful bunch, thank you. I will come here more often!

What luck!