Been here since 2011 when my marriage imploded and I found MN in the form of AnyFucker, Anniegetyourgun and a host of other posters who held my hand for about a year.
I've been single almost all that time since then. Lots has happened. NC between me and the former Mr Wisey since 2011 and for all concerned it's best that things remain that way - medical emergencies regarding our DD notwithstanding.
I'm a different kind of woman these days, overall much happier and emotionally intact. I love my life as a single person, I've realised I'm actually quite an introvert and love solitude although I also sing in a band so I'm not averse to a bit of attention 
.
A man is very keen on me. I know this because he has made it abundantly clear. I met him socially and know folk who know him. He doesn't come with any horrible history AFAIK. He's older than me. Very shy, awkward even. quite geeky but self aware. Quiet, intelligent, artistic, solvent etc. Similar values to me.
But as things are panning out I feel anything but flattered or interested. In fact I feel under pressure and like I'm being carried along by something which I've not signed up for. The reason for this is that a couple of weeks ago he kissed me out of the blue and although it wasn't a 'eureka' moment for me neither was it awful, and I thought how sweet, maybe if we get to know each other slowly there might be a possible relationship in the future.
To me, it feels like he has taken it as the green light from me that we're 'an item' without us having any conversation about it at all. That's not the way I do things any more. My new self knows that rushing things has ALWAYS led to disaster. I'm confused and I know I need to tell him today that I prefer to put things back the way they were before 'the kiss' because I simply don't know him well enough to know if I want things to go that way and I'm in no hurry to find out, tbh.
I figure that if I weren't ready to meet someone I'd be rushing in with this guy regardless and ignoring any potential red flags (and I think his shyness/conflict avoidant style could be one). I figure that I'm doing now what I should have been doing before I married. I'm being careful and not giving myself to anyone who shows the slightest interest.
I don't know what I'm looking for here. Just maybe some feedback? He's picking me up at 5pm to go see a local band and I know I've got to find an opportunity to 'have the talk' with him. So if this post is a bit all over the place I apologise and thank you in advance.