He asked me to visit again

[bridie69]

I've been invited to spend a week in my newish Irish friends house with him in Cork.If you want the back story see the Barcelona thread. He said he doesn't really like London as he had some not so good experiences here in the 90s and finds it too impersonal so would rather I came there instead. He said if I feel more comfortable he will pay for a room in a local hotel for me but he has 3 spare rooms amd would like me to stay with him. Personally I don't care which bed I am in as long as he is in it . So I think I may just accept. He is 9 years younger than me, feel a tiny bit unusual about that but am guessing my fellow MNers will approve.. My last visit was a chaste if wonderful one with the exception of a passionate and bloody beautiful snog on Inchedoney Strand while our friends fetched coffee. .

I wouldn't plan to stay for a week in the house of someone I'd only just met - too much, too soon. Make it 'your' trip to Cork during which you might see a lot of him - but give yourself some breathing space in the form of a hotel room (he has offered!) , do some things on your own. I know you've been single for a few years, but pace yourself.

Yes - completely agree with Walkacrossthesand, keep a little distance and make sure you do strike out on your own a bit.

I find it slightly weird he doesn't want to come and see you given you've been over to him; experiences of London 20-30 years ago are hardly that relevant. Why would it matter if it's impersonal if he's coming to see you? And in any case you could use London as a base for getting out to the surrounding area. So I think I would keep an eye on that, kind of feels just a tiny bit like he wants things to be on his terms. Whilst you're there big up a few things you think he'd enjoy and see how he reacts.

Other than that, have a wonderful time and enjoy getting to know more of the area, it is beautiful.

Have a wonderful time but have half an ear out as to whether the reasons he doesn't want to come to London had true.

But I should also say follow your instincts - if you want to spent all week with him do it.

Adh mor ort!

Well I see what you mean re London and taking it slowly. The reasons for not liking London are plausible but of course I'm not stupid. I will listen to what he says. I don't think it's an intractable issue. I know a couple of other people not too far away and will hire a car so will be independent. Thanks

If it was me I wouldn't want to be beholden to him. I would want to be there under my own steam for sure,eg booked into a B.&B. It does sound odd that he won't go to London, that it's "impersonal", FFS, grow up love! It's a city, people are not going to greet you by name like they do in Bandon/Skibereen!!

By all means, come back and tell us how it went!
I'm sure you will have a lovely time in Cork, and we all want to hear the details, don't we Mumsnetters?

I've just added this to my watch list....