half sister relationship

[SuperFlyHigh]

I have a half sister who's about 7 years younger than me - we've known each other since I was 13 or so. She's always been bossy, quite extreme and if things go wrong she easily loses her temper.

A few years we fell out for a major reason and then she got in touch with my half brother and for some reason I emailed her… turns out she still bears grudges. We fell out again then. I was also being bullied at work so quite emotional and I had an untreated thyroid which can make people moody/emotional. The funny thing is a few years in-between she was ringing me and even wanted to meet up. But she had another grudge.

Anyway - I saw a post on her open FB wall (she's not a FB friend of mine) and just sent her a brief email re my brother and how he was etc but not for me to contact her (I don't think it's wise) and got a torrent of abuse back again, telling me not to stalk her etc…

I know it's fruitless now thinking about it but I wanted some input. It makes me so upset that someone can be so not understanding and so on.

I just blocked her email address. So she can't contact me. So no need for replies here.

My half sister is a nightmare. From day one she has set out to be the 'good' daughter and is [was] in complete competition, loves getting one up on me. She is so immature it's ridiculous. She sees me as a threat I think although I have no idea why. I just want to be friendly and civil.

She left my house one day after our mother had died [and coincidentally she had met a new man] and I haven't heard from her or seen her since. I won't take any more of her rudeness and indifference so haven't seen her for years.

I suggest you accept there are some things that can't be changed. Your half sister/step sister[?] has a huge problem with you and let her get on with it. If she can't get over her 'grudge' give her time to grow up and protect yourself. Just save yourself from more abuse and lashing out. You've tried. Not all people are nice or reasonable.

regrets thanks for replying.

Since our father died when I was about 22 she has been strange with me but she was before as well. This is the woman who screamed at and shouted at me at Notting Hill Carnival when my purse was stolen and debit card used fraudulently… even the police officer with us at the police station said 'what is wrong with your sister?!' - she was about 18 then I think.

I did apologise this time round and all she could say was 'it's taken a year for you to apologise a year too late' (actually a year and a half).

The thing I did know about her was she was bossy. The strange thing was my brother said she wanted to get in touch about 2 years ago yet when I did - she said she could forgive but not forget and was really unkind. She didn't see that there was something that happened that she didn't know about that I was angry about. Couldn't see anyone else could have a POV.

Yes I have accepted it and I've tried. I did say (as knowing her) that I didn't think it was good for us to be in touch. Maybe she didn't like that.

Thanks for replying though good to know it's not just me and that it's good I tried to reach out.

Sounds like the world is all about her and no one else is allowed an opinion or feelings. I don't think she will change. Some people like to get in touch with others they have issues with to boast, to show off, to put them down, to punish, to play with their feelings, just to generally have a go when they feel like it....to feel in control and superior to the other.

Mind games, [personality disorder?]....let them get on with it. Sad, but better for your peace of mind and sanity to keep out of it. Good luck.

Yeah I reached out to Her. But i think she is such a different personality to me and I'm staying well away now.

Normally I don't give second chances much it's because we're related I was doing so.

But no good will come of it.

My email to her was perfectly nice too, not nasty. Apart from saying I didn't think we should stay in touch.

You've done the right thing blocking her; she's toxic

bloody outlook email block feature doesn't work… so hopefully she won't email me again.

I looked into it and her email isn't gmail etc so it can have trouble blocking other ones which are more unusual which hers is.

The way I'm reading it, she posted on her open FB about your shared brother? You saw it and emailed to update her on how he is? But also said don't get in touch with me?

I can sort of see how that could go wrong - you're allowed to look at her FB page and email her but she's not allowed to contact you?

Noeuf - this was a post from 2 years ago…

in my OP I said half brother - the brother in question was my real full brother, V.

The main reason for us not being in touch is she's been flakey about being in contact with me again (on and off, yes and no) and was quite abusive to me last time about why we fell out originally (forgiving me but not forgetting). In fact when she was in touch with my brother (V) before he told me 'I think XXX wants to meet you etc' yet this was thrown back in my face when I tried to broach it.

Basically my brother (V) didn't want much contact with her after her last outburst as it upset me a lot and also confused him (she seemed to be playing games) and I didn't want to keep in touch then either after the drama. In fact I don't know why or how she even broached stuff with my brother about seeing me before I can only work out that when they met up my name was mentioned and he/she mentioned it. I do know that back then she was seeing my brother (V) and his family with her family and that she also had a very strange relationship with her own brother A (my half brother) where he was in a psychiatric hospital for a while and she had trouble relating to him and his problems.

Her FB page is open or was. I also didn't tell her not to contact me but said I thought it was best we didn't stay in contact. And her main point also was why hadn't I apologised 2 years ago and my apology now was too late when in fact we'd both said nasty things at the time.

So why on earth now would I want her to keep in touch with her now? re the above?

I don't know why you would, but my point was that you initiated contact after looking at her FB page and then said I don't think we should stay in touch. So I can see that from her pov that's a bit irritating.

Noeuf - yes I can see initiating contact and then not staying in contact would be irritating.

However from her reply since then I've been left in no doubt at all that even if there could be a chance for contact, she doesn't want it. And neither do I. I was just mentioning if she wanted to get back in touch with my brother it'd be ok and saying how he was.

I suppose I should've left the line about not staying in touch out in my original email but what's done is done now.