Am I over reacting?

[YankeeZulu]

I found an email on DH's phone earlier to a work colleague who is currently off sick. It said I miss you followed by 3 kisses. He has form for this kind of thing. I'm not sure he has ever cheated on me but I've found similar, flirty messages before. He did once kiss a girl whilst out with his mates but got cold feet and came home.

I think, for me, the marriage is over. I don't think I trust him but my heart is breaking for our 2 DC's.

Am I over reacting or would this behaviour make you call it a day too?

From the little you've said it's not possible to make that kind of call, but no doubt it's taken a lot more than these few incidents to destroy your trust in him.

When did you first become aware that he was sending flirty messages to ow and has he ever promised to desist from this inappropriate behaviour?

I'm sorry - I think you've got to just ask him about this and see what he says.

You don't tjink he's cheated on you but he has kissed a girl and sends flirty messages?

He's cheated on you.

I remember you posted about him before. I'm sorry, but I don't believe his feet were cold. I wouldn't trust this man as far as I could throw him.

Yeah I wouldn't be happy with any of that. He's not faithful.

As I said - you must tackle this head on or it will eat away at you.

He's playing away. At least emotionally. This kind of message is really inappropriate for a married man and for a colleague.

Definitely wouldn't be happy. If he's not cheating with this colleague he definitely wouldn't be adverse to it.

As you say, there's form.
This is who he is and what he's like. He is not adverse to looking elsewhere and there's a part of him that intrinsically wants to. He's not going to suddenly become someone else; not even getting married and having kids has abated his interest. He'll just get better at hiding it from you.

It's no kind of life living without trust, waiting for the next 'i am over-reacting?' I think you'd be better off without him.