What do you do if you trust nobody?

[KinsyWinsy]

I've been hurt and let down by friends, boyfriends and my husband.

I never got on with my brothers. My dad left us when I was ten. A nasty custody battle ensued.

So what a pity party. But I don't want to be tortured by doubting people anymore.

I always assume the worst of everyone. Of course they're going to try and hurt me.

How the hell do I get out of this awful haunting rut?

I honestly don't know but I didn't want to read and run - you sound quite unhappy. Have you thought about some counselling maybe?

You trust yourself x

I put a brave face on but am fractured. Be kind x

Be brave! It's not easy. Only you can help pull yourself out of this.

I am a similar position. I suspect it's no coincidence that your dad left when you were so young.

What is it you don't trust them to do/not do? What is it they've done to let you down/hurt you?

I don't trust many people either. Means I don't have many friends.

The only person outside of my blood family I truly let in is my husband, but I'd known him for nearly 15 years before he became my boyfriend even...

I don't know the answer. Trying to find it as well.

I think people have to earn trust.

After my lying, cheating STBXH I thought I'd never trust again. And you do have to let go a bit to allow people into your life.

Ask yourself what trust means to you, and what you expect in the way of trust from your relationships.

For example my STBXH was always furtive with his phone, texts and emails. I have a new DP now and he often leaves his phone lying around the house, or shows me things openly such as messages from his ex wife etc.

Early on he gave me a key to his apartment and has been very open with his life, past and present.

I definitely think some counselling would help you, but when you open your life and let someone in there is always some risk. It's just a case of understanding and managing what you can deal with. And it does take time.

It sounds to me like you are depressed and analyzing your life at the same time. Never a good idea because everything always comes out black.

You are only looking at all the negatives, in this case where people have let you down. Your brief outline could be a description of my life and millions of others and yet I am very happy in my life.

It took me a long time to learn not to trust too easily and that there are a lot of unkind people in the world. I was too trusting, not any more. I still have faith in human nature though, am just very cautious now.

Don't trust too easily or quickly, just take it slowly and open up slowly whilst finding out who the other person really is and their attitude to life and others.

Find someone who has values, a moral compass and who is truthful and honest and basically kind. They are out there.

I find that we are all flawed and some of us are deeply flawed. When you know the other persons flaws they know yours and that they are flaws you can deal with, then you have a friendship that will last.

I don't believe in believing in people, personally I believe in a deity and love people.