I don't think this is normal - is it?

[ScotOatsAndWires]

Ds is 4 months old and I've noticed my dm will never call me 'mummy' when speaking to him. You know how you might say Where is mummy going?' etc, she says 'Where is mum?' And tries to teach him the word 'mum mum mum'.

I know that seems like nothing but it annoys me because I thought most people say 'mummy' when speaking to a baby or young child.

Then a few days ago I heard her teaching him my first name. Also i have heard her call to herself as mummy (like 'come with mummy') a couple of times but I put that down to a slip of the tongue as most of the time she says grandma. However, since hearing her trying to teach ds to call me by first name I'm starting to get concerned.

Does your brother loved being babied?

Well he doesn't complain about not having to contribute a penny towards the house, having all his meals cooked (including packed lunch for work) or his clothes washed and ironed, afaik... But it's the way she's started to talk about him that I don't like. The same tone of voice you'd use to describe a young child. I think you have to hear it to see how cringe-inducing it is.

Anyway it's good to hear she isn't the only one with odd boundary type issues towards her grandchild.

LHR - my pil's call ds "my baby" too. What's up with these people?!

An articulate one month old with a great figure? Wow Imperial, that's some impressive baby making you did!

I really don't see an issue with this, but I can see I'm in the minority.

I actually think it would be terribly easy for her to refer to herself as "mummy" as in "come to mummy" because she's been a mum for decades and is used to using and being "mum/mummy".

Your ds won't suddenly one day say Mummy, he will probably say mama. Maybe she was just helping him along when she was saying "mum, mum, mum"

The first name thing is a bit odd, but again maybe she just wants him to know who people are referring to when he hears your name?

I may have this all wrong, but if she's generally a lovely mum and grandma, I wouldn't worry about it.

I don't think you're being unreasonable here. DGP's and DGPIL's do seem to go a bit weird when a long awaited baby arrives on the scene. My DM went and told other family members that she thought I would never let her hold my baby. She was wrong, it was the first thing I asked her when she visited her DGD for the first time. I have no idea where that idea came from.

My DMIL became quite overbearing almost overnight once DD was here. Whenever DD cried she'd demand 'give her to me' give her to me'. It infuriated me but I didn't bite because I wanted to keep the peace and I didn't want our relationship to sour. My DD is 5 now and DMIL still has issues when I try to set boundaries or reprimand. DMIL starts talking extra loud to drown me out or starts singing loudly to distract my DD. It probably all sounds like nothing but to me it is like she is trying to exert some control.

Maybe your DM has genuinely made a mistake or maybe she is trying to take control in a sneaky way. Either way she does need to be spoken to about it or it will just continue and possibly get worse. Do you think that having your baby has just made her feel nostalgic? Or over the hill and unwanted? It seems weird that she is talking about her grown up DS in an infantile way. Maybe there are other issues here where she feels like a spare part and just wants to feel needed and part of the picture.