Feeling a bit low today, I don't feel liked or loved anymore by anyone!

[Tiggs2]

I feel a bit down in the dumps today, and am struggling to shake myself out of it. I've been sitting and mulling things over, and It feel like no one likes me or cares about my feelings anymore!

I've only ever had a few close pals but lately one of those has moved on to another friend, though I still get the odd message now and again to see how I am, and another pal who only seems to bother with me every few months or so when she hasn't anyone else to off load her burdens to etc.
I know a lot of people, mostly male, but have only ever had a couple of close mates. I think that I'm a loyal person who will willingly help anyone/friends out if they need me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind my own company a lot of the time, but I've been feeling like I don't really matter to people and often wonder would anyone really miss me if I wasn't here anymore.

Dh has always been my best friend and I do love him dearly, but we have had a couple of disagreements lately, and I'm left feeling that I'm not important, and that my views on things are wrong or that it doesn't matter.

I think its really sad that I've never been praised for anything that I've ever done throughout my life, be it losing weight, being a half decent cook, doing dance classes, running a small business, but I am quick to praise others, always, including my dh and my two children.

I always feel like everyone else gets treated better or gets more than me, and I don't understand what I'm doing wrong!

Even at work I've always helped out, done a bit extra without pay, but others get thought of more than me.

I was at work recently a colleague, brought some sugar goodies into the office ( aware that I can't eat them) for everyone except me, then went on to make drinks for all but didn't ask me, and I was left feeling a bit left out, as if I wasn't really there!

I've always got on with this person, never even had a disagreement.

I don't know how to feel or what to do anymore!

Maybe its just a case that I am starting to become Invisible :-(

I know how you feel OP, I feel like this too sometimes.

Sometimes I think I’d kill to have a survey done on me that people can fill in saying what they really think of me, any annoying traits/habits I have etc, I would love to read the answers as I know I am a kind person who helps my friends out and is always there with a listening ear, I’ve got a good personality, love to laugh, polite and try to be as courteous as possible, I love a good night out or evening in with my friends, I’m sociable, friendly, the queen of small talk…

….However despite all of this I often feel like I’m way down people’s list of priorities and that often, people, well women definitely, don’t tend to like me.

No advice really I’m afraid but know that you are a better person than them, that you wouldn’t deliberately leave someone out and THAT says a lot more about them than it does you.

Hi op

It strikes me from your post, that you are saying you feel invisible
And from experience if you feel this way then sometimes we act out that part.

I wonder where your voice is? If you were really honest with yourself is there a part of you that feels comfortable in this role.
If someone was to compliment you would you believe them, or feel uncomfortable because you in some way perhaps don't deserve it?

How is your self confidence and self esteem in general do you think, if that colleague didn't do you a drink what stopped you from speaking up? Could you have said hey you've forgotten me or mines milk no sugar etc.

If you want people to notice you, you have to make yourself visible
Lovely but that can be hard to do if your not used to playing that part.

Sadly, people perk up big time if you're a bit horrible/unavailable. Being nice all the time isn't a challenge, people take for granted if you're always there, always nice, always kind.

I wish it were different.

Sorry to hear this Op. I can relate in many ways. I have not seen any friends at all this week and feel invisible. I don't have any close friends any more anyway, I really just mean acquaintances. Even my sister has gone awol and much as I love her, I can see that I think more of her than she does me. An unpleasant realisation. I feel really alone at the moment and like you, I am wondering what I have done to be so awful that no one wants to be friends. That sounds so childlike. I do like my own company but I need human contact. DH does not work in this way at all and I have given up telling him how lonely I am.

I think that 'springydaffs' is right sadly. I think I am going to be rather less nice and accommodating as people seem to take advantage. I don't mean turning down invites etc but not doing favours as regularly. For me, this week has been a real eye opener in terms of how much I matter to others. I shall be more cautious in future as it only ends up hurting me further.

No answer but you are not alone. Don't suppose you are in the SW, you sound like my sort of person :)

No, look, have a go at being a bit horrible/snippy/rude to reboot things. The new you. Honestly, I've had people sit up with alacrity when I do this!

it's keeping it up that's the problem

Actually, if you feel you're invisible, you can do what you like on any given day. Bad mood today? Go for it! Less of the nice

It's hard. I wonder if you could consider starting a new hobby or something in a new circle that will reinvigorate you and give you a chance to be someone in a safe environment