Dating yes, relationships no...

[Feawen]

I've never had a serious, long term relationship, and it's starting to bother me. I'm 27.

I lead a busy life, and am happy in my own company, so I don't mind being single in itself. I'm not lonely. Until now, I've been content to enjoy other things, and trust that love will happen in its own time.

However, I'm starting to think there must be something off about me. I have no problem finding men to date. Within a few weeks or at most a few months, though, things always fizzle out. Occasionally I've been the one to end things but sadly there have been several people who I've thought, yes, I can picture us together in years to come. No one has ever felt the same.

I don't think I'm difficult, or boring (though right now maybe I sound self-obsessed! :) ), or have any revolting habits. I am, genuinely, looking for solutions rather than reassurance. Any thoughts?

Maybe your independence puts men off, maybe you come across as not bothered?

Maybe? I hate the thought of being clingy or dependent, which could perhaps come across as not bothered. Thank you. That's something for me to think about.

I suggest that as I can relate to it. I've become such an independent single mum. It's not really something you need to change, someone will come along who can adapt to that.

A man who is right for you will admire your independence and love you all the more for it, so as pp said that is not a negative trait.

Have there been any particular patterns in the fizzling out of your budding relationships - any common themes? It could well be that you just are dating men who are not right for you (ditto you for them) for one reason or another.

I don't think I could lose the independent streak by trying so hopefully I'll find someone willing to embrace it! :) Maybe I could control my desire to show less interest than I feel a bit, though. Sounds risky. < that thought is probably symptomatic, isn't it...:D