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Original poster

Meeting up with ex

13 replies

chelle792 · 20/08/2015 09:54

Good morning all, Smile

OH and I have been invited to a friends wedding. It's in a couple of weeks.

My worry is that I will be 11 weeks pregnant and my ex will also be there with his girlfriend. I'm feeling frumpy, tired and achy. Girlfriend is the OW and I half feel like I need to be on top form for obvious reasons. It was all a pretty traumatic situation with me finding out while ex was in a high dependency unit in hospital with an unknown illness. Nursed him back to health for a month (no one knew what I'd discovered) and then kicked him out.

I'm so much happier these days and have truly found an amazing man to be with. I'm excited about the future but out of pride I don't want ex and OW to take one look at me and think 'yep I know why you got dumped because you look like shit'.

I have no idea how to handle this in my head. I'll have to see them two days in a row because ceremony and reception are on separate days.

Please can someone give me a pep talk!

OP posts:
ammature · 20/08/2015 09:59

I went to a wedding where an ex was there with his new and lovely and pregnant girlfriend. I just remember thinking she looked good and he seemed scared! Like you said you are much happier, I'm sure the OW is far more anxious then you since you have the moral high ground. I always feel much better when I have a great blow-dry, I know at the minute for me clothes are a pain, you might feel different but perhaps treat yourself to some nice make up, hair do or whatever makes you feel a bit more confident. Im sure you will feel much better about yourself, and just focus on how happy you are now. You probably won't see them much either its easy to avoid people at weddings I find!

Original poster
chelle792 · 20/08/2015 10:14

Thanks ammature. I might see if I can book a hair appointment in the morning. And I bloody hope she feels anxious - it's just hard to know what he's told her. Some of the texts were things such as 'with her mental health I just don't know how to tell her '. He had the cheek to tell me after that he didn't know how to tell me because he didn't know if I would 'do anything stupid'. Ridiculous.
It's a shame it's a small wedding

OP posts:
ammature · 20/08/2015 10:20

[shocked] what a dick! IN your favour you won't/can't get pissed and say anything stupid- this is what I would would certainly do! everyone even she knows there are two sides to every story unless she's incredibly naive she will be feeling anxious and freaked out herself.

ImperialBlether · 20/08/2015 10:23

Why on earth did you take care of him when he'd done that to you? I would have left him to the nurses!

scarednoob · 20/08/2015 10:23

she's the kind of person who was seeing him whilst he had a girlfriend. you supported him and have now moved on and met someone amazing and are having an amazing baby. that's like 137-0 to you before you even get there, and those are the important things!

but on the surface stuff, definitely second doing whatever it takes to make yourself feel happier, even though it is only you that feels frumpy; you won't look it to anyone else. if it were me, I'd have a new colour and shiny blow dry, killer manicure and smile a lot. maybe I'm really shallow, but that would work for me!

if he was cheating and she really believed his descriptions of you, she's in for a massive shock when she sees how gorgeous and happy you are. but the truth is, it doesn't matter what they think, as you are happier now, and I do think you'll find you care a LOT less than you think when it actually happens.

Original poster
chelle792 · 20/08/2015 10:51

Thankyou all. You're all right. I hope my happiness will shine through. I've definitely put on weight but might use the opportunity to tell him I'm pregnant!

imperial i rushed him to hospital late one evening - brain scans, waking the consultant up at home, etc. He didn't even need to wait see triage. I guess I tried to take the high ground. I lost a stone in a week and my mum came up but couldn't understand why I was so distraught - I was sick every time I ate. I slept in the hospital for a week at the foot of his bed. Even the nurses started trying to feed me!

For some stupid reason, I only flipped my lid three weeks later when he was home from hospital and told me he was going out for dinner with OW one eve. I even rang her while he was in hospital to see if she wanted to visit him.

It means a lot that the friends whose wedding I'm going to say that they can see me and OH are meant to be. It's also going to be mildly satisfying when OH and ex meet as OH being 6 ft 7 will tower over 6ft ex Wink but that's my bitchy side coming out.

It's so hard that she's been accepted by mutual friends and into his family (I'm still particularly close with his sister and her kids).

I'm so excited about this baby. I just need to hold on to that for my own sanity!

OP posts:
Wildflower91 · 20/08/2015 12:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mycatlikesdreamies · 20/08/2015 13:43

Well done on finding happiness and a better life. Just stun them with your smile and your fabulous news Smile

spudlike1 · 20/08/2015 14:13

Be big and bold starting from the shoes up ..smile be happy , be gracious .
Good luck

Original poster
chelle792 · 20/08/2015 17:12

I've arranged to go shopping with a friend tomorrow to find something to wear Smile thanks for the pep talk ladies Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
chelle792 · 20/08/2015 17:12

Ps that's the first time I've ever put the breakup story in writing. Kind of therapeutic

OP posts:
Smilingforth · 20/08/2015 23:13

Best of luck!

Original poster
chelle792 · 09/09/2015 12:54

After all that - he didn't show!! The bride called him a wus!

OP posts:
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