I'm sat here 3 years after falling pregnant very quickly with my first child thinking... shit. How did I end up here, like this.
I love my DS more than anything in the world, he is by far the best thing to have come of us, but it's like I've been in a whirlwind and I've finally sat up and taken in my surroundings as it's plonked me back down in reality.
I fell in love with my best friend just over 3 years ago and we found out after a very short romance that we were expecting. He did the honourable thing of course and stood by my side. I sold my house, moved in with him as his was bigger, this is whilst going through a very traumatic pregnancy.
I developed depression, was accused of trapping him by his friends, had to deal with his interferring mother, had to take time off work etc.
DS came along and PND took me hostage for well over a year, planning went out of the window and I began taking all my rage out on him. For not supporting me more with his friends and his mother, for not empathising more when I was pregnant and it's continued.
It took 2 years for him to finally put my name on the mortgage and for him to involve me financially in the house. Something that bothered me for a long time.
He's a nice man, just laid back, not emotionally supportive. And now 3 years later, I'm sitting in this pool of resentment. I feel very taken for granted, he doesnt appreciate all I've given up to give him a family, my career, my home, my independence. I feel very alone and I cant keep laying into him with all the anger I'm carrying around. Ive tried talking to him but it takes 2 to talk and he doesnt do talking! I've no idea if we have a future together. I want to try, but the resentment and frustration I feel towards him is overwhelming.