DH gets erectile dysfunction with stress.

[yellowbutterflygarden]

Whenever he has something on his mind he seems to go through periods of finding it difficult to get an erection and then only being semi erect during sex. When everything in life is good his erections are great. I hate the times when he struggles with erections and find it really difficult not to take it personally and it makes me feel unattractive and crap at turning him on. I really want to solve this as it does limit our sex life - I feel like I can't suggest anything new etc as this can cause him to over think whatever it is and not be able to get really hard. This has been a recurring problem in our 10 year relationship although it is much better than it was in the beginning when he struggled with erections most of the time and to ejaculate inside me (this never happens now). He also struggled in previous relationships.

He grew up in a very stressful highly religious household. There was never any love or emotions shown and I wonder if this is the root of the problem. Basically, he is 100 times better than when he is not worried about anything sex is really good. I want to know if it is possible to make him really relaxed all the time about sex so it is never a problem.

I'd encourage him to get it checked out medically. While it may just be stress, there is also a good chance that there may be more than one cause, which is exacerbated by the stress. It may not be fun going to GP but the upside: viagra on prescription.

Just knowing that he can take a pill for that, can be very helpful to reduce the stress caused by worrying about not getting a full erection. All good, in fact.

Best of luck, it took DH ages to pluck up the courage/ agree to go but came back saying why didn't you send me sooner......okaaaay.

It's often a very sensitive for men to talk about but I think he needs to see his GP and soon.

That could be me writing that. You have my sympathy. Have been in this situation about 10 years. I don't think you can make him relaxed all the time unless removing all the causes of stress is possible, which it just isn't for most of us as we can't just give up work.

A few recommendations:

-Cialis is fantastic (not viagra but similar) - needs a prescription. My DH found that young male GPs were the easiest to talk to and the most supportive/open-minded and up-to-date on the latest developments.
-book a Premier Inn now and again, the £29 or even £99 is well worth it. Just getting away from the usual stresses and strains of home can work well.
-experiment with lubricant e.g. Durex Play.
-when at home try it at other times of that day than bedtime - testosterone is highest in the morning.
-Quality not quantity - i couldn't grasp this for a long time, but now, we can have a great weekend away and that keeps me relatively happy for a few months!

Good luck.

Yup, Cialis. It needs about 2 hours to take effect, and the initial flushing and jitters to subside. Then you'll both be "rather warm and very much astonished". Good luck.

whilst not being in possession of a penis, I have to say that (like many people I suppose) I don't feel particularly in the mood when I'm stressed... I suppose this is one situation where we ladies do rather have it easier as we don't need to 'perform' like the chaps do.

Definitely encourage him to see his GP - ED is astoundingly common and any GP will deal with this daily. He will also be able to rule out any physical causes/contributory factors.

I'm sure this stresses him out so never put any pressure on him at all (I'm sure you don't) as that's a viscious circle... Sounds like the deepest root of this is his upbringing - perhaps again talk to his GP about talking therapies on offer?

disgrace there's something very monty Python about 'rather warm and very much astonished" ... I'm reading in in a 'batley women's guild' voice... :)

Very funny

It's a quote from Kipling, and refers to something else entirely.

Poor bloke, and poor OP, but OP. please do not let his problems make you feel unattractive and crap. it's not - it's him, or rather, I think, it's his mindset.

The struggling to ejaculate inside you is a big sign, there's something going there; the stressful, highly religious household upbringing has definitely not helped, ''they fuck you up, our parents do, they don't mean, but they do....'

As mentioned earlier, stress relieving tactics, like different times of day, sneak away for a night out, are all great, and try to remove the pressure of needing a fully erect cock and ejaculation, try to relax and have intimacy as well. And fun. Do not forget the fun element.

And as mentioned, Viagra; it is possible to purchase Kamagra online (generic Viagra) from heaps of sources, and we use it for 'special' weekends, like when the kids are away and we are doing some serious catching up. It adds a tremendous zip to proceedings, :) I can highly recommend it. The added bonus to this, is that even after the drug has worn off, because you've spent the last 12 hours or so feeling a little more, erm, eager, I find the mental effect carries on for a couple of days after.

Good luck OP, hoping you can improve yours and your partner situation .