Hello.
I'm at a very low point. My husband made me have an abortion last year even though I didn't want to go through with it. He brainwashed me into thinking we couldn't afford it and that my other two children would hate me for it. He also said he would leave if I didn't go through with it.
I went through with it begrudgingly.
My husband wouldn't get a vasectomy so we use contraception - at the beginning of the year I fell pregnant again as the contraception failed, this was also unplanned.
I have told him I can't go through with another termination as the last one nearly destroyed me.
My husband has gone mad - he's like another person. He's aggressive and argumentative. He's made me move into a spare room on a blow up mattress even though I'm now heavily pregnant. He's been lying to friends and family that I have done this to trap him into staying with him. He's changed into somebody who I'm now scared of. I hear him telling our other two children that all the arguing is because of me and they're starting to turn on me because I'm having an unwanted child in their eyes. He's telling people he's depressed and suicidal to get sympathy. He's not turned up to any counseling I have organized. He's got a Jekyll and Hyde personality. He's fallen out with 75% of his friends and family who all see him for the evil manipulative man he is.
I'm now at the lowest point in my life. We have a four bedroom house - two cars and two lovely children and live in a nice area. I'm now contemplating all sorts of horrible things.
My baby boy is due any time now.
Deep down I still want us to be a family and try and put his behavior over the past year behind me. Should I feel this way or do I need to get away from this shallow horrible person?