So I've asked him to leave. What now?

[LifeIsJustThis]

I've asked for advice on here before, possibly under a different name I honestly can't remember. Basically H hasn't 'done' anything as such I'm just fed up of living with a completely unsupportive manchild.

So last night was the final - final - final straw and I've asked him this morning to leave. We're actually staying at his parents' at the moment but I'm going home today with DD (separate cars) and have told him he can come round tonight and pick up some stuff but that's it.

So what now? I know it sounds like a stupid question, but I like a plan and like to be prepared but having had about an hours sleep and with 18 month old DD to run around after I'm struggling to organise a coherent thought pattern let alone a list of things to do.

Does anyone fancy holding my hand and helping me think?

Well as a lone parent you'll need to do even more... Housework, childcare AND earn the money. It's not easy to just 'go on benefits' these days after a break up. And it's not free anymore to ensure he pays child maintenence ( if he starts to resent paying)

Hi there, LifeIsJustThis.

I don't have anything more helpful to add than what has already been said, but I noticed you said you are a full time student?

This means you will be ineligible for unemployment benefits (IS, JSA).

Full time students are usually not able to claim housing benefit either, however, special circumstances (such as being a lone parent) may mean that you can claim.

Perhaps you could pop into the finance dept of your uni/college to discuss your change in circumstances and get advice?

Best of luck.

That's all true, Garmin. But practical issues aside, OP is extremely unhappy living with this man and has reached the point where she can't take any more.

OP this is about your happiness. You're entitled to be happy. Things will be different, yes in some cases more difficult, but you won't be responsible for anyone but you and your DD. And that will be a relief, I bet.

Sorry, I wasn't technically correct in my other post, full time students can claim IS/JSA during the summer holidays only.

Garmin: thanks for that, I'm well aware I'll have to do everything I'm already doing and more,. I'm happy to do that when it's only me to do it, I'm not happy to do it when there's another adult in the house who isn't pulling their weight and expecting me to look after him as well. I don't think that's unreasonable. I've lived on my own before and have been happy to do everything. I'm not naive.

I also have no intention of "just going on benefits" did you miss where I said I'm a full time student? This time next year I'll be a graduate in a professional career. Plus I am working as well at the moment, albeit freelance. The tax credits or whatever would be for one year only and considering I'm a mature student with many years of tax paying employment behind me I don't think thats too much to hope for.

Thanks Mad I'm pretty sure being a lone parent changes the situation as I looked into it last year when he refused counselling (before I fell for his promises again). Good call about speaking to student services though I'll definitely call them.

Ostentatious that's exactly how I feel tbh, you've really hit the nail on the head!

to everyone offering sage advice, I really appreciate it.

It's got to be less soul destroying being the only one in the house and having to do everything, than having another adult there and still having to do everything because they won't pull their weight.

No stan housing benefit is not paid direct to the tenant. Not in every area.

Maybe the OP lives in an area where it is paid direct to the tenant. I think it is better knowing all the options rather than just what some random on the internet believes...and yes Garmin I mean you.

Good luck