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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

On holiday - overheard...

12 replies

Sofiathefirst · 17/08/2015 23:56

So, I'm on holiday with my DD. Sat in a lovely restaurant next table is a lovely looking young couple.... Until his smoking is getting on my nerves and I begin to hear the convo. They are 18-21 tops and all I can hear is him bleating about relationships this, relationships that. Every time she contributes he's clearly putting her down, bullying her. Not joking when I say she is seriously beautiful. He is very handsome too, but his tone and the constant put downs have me restraining myself from having a word. She is too young to know of MN, but by god, a bigger narcissist in action in public I have never seen. Wish I'd had the chance to speak to her, but then, she'd probably have had me down as a sad old spinster jealous of her gorgeous bf. Poor girl. Not sure what you guys can contribute here, but I'm starting to wonder whether we women should start life with a bloody manual!

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 18/08/2015 00:08

The sticky thread 'listen up everybody' at the top of this board is a pretty good resume of the manual you propose, I'd say...

Dowser · 18/08/2015 00:12

I think all girls should be made to watch ' farfrom the madding crowd' the Mattias Schoenearts one ;-)

Sofiathefirst · 18/08/2015 00:13

Good point Walk.

Here on my own with my LO. Just had to let it out.

Was soooo annoyed at him - what is it with these guys???

OP posts:
Sofiathefirst · 18/08/2015 00:17

I love TH Dowser, but feel all these tragedies just set us up to think it would be ok if we, ourselves were the heroine. I now cringe at cocktail and dirty dancing - these films made us feel that a guy who was out of our league - in the sense that we are out of their league - is best. That is not my RL experience!

OP posts:
Prelude · 18/08/2015 01:33

You sound lovely OP Smile

I was in that young woman's situation once. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to give XP the bollocking of his life, tell him that he had no right to talk to anyone that way, and tell younger me that I shouldn't have to accept it.

But living well is the best revenge. I have a DH who is my best friend and a family. XP is a pathetic loser who can no longer rely on his looks and who is hilariously bewildered by the fact that no woman will give him the time of day Grin

tallwivglasses · 18/08/2015 01:41

There was the idea of the mumsnet ters' card wasn't there? Along the lines of 'LTB and join the Vipers - mumsnet.com ?

Sofiathefirst · 18/08/2015 01:45

Hi Prelude, had one myself too. Remember my younger self like that young girl - although she still seemed to have some composure - not like I was (eventually). Funny how you become all maternal towards strangers... I told my DD tonight that this guy was selfish for smoking right next to us (holding his fag away from their table so we got the full waft of it) and that he was super boring. Hmmmm methinks this is a mantra I will re reiterating to her forever! quietly of course, because we never really hear our mothers till it's too late! ????

OP posts:
avocadotoast · 18/08/2015 01:47

It's horrible to witness these kind of relationships.

I was at some traffic lights last week and there was a van a couple of lanes over, windows down, and this really young looking couple having a row. He was shouting and swearing at her but it didn't seem angry like a one off iyswim, it was just like that was how he always spoke to her. I couldn't stop looking, didn't even notice when the lights went green. Poor girl.

Sofiathefirst · 18/08/2015 01:48

That was a Wink at the end - on my phone - forgot! Grin

OP posts:
Sofiathefirst · 18/08/2015 01:52

This has also reminded me of an older couple at the airport last year. We all know it's boring and stressful, but the man had this sneer on his face and I could almost see the eggshells under his wife's feet. Too many lovely ladies tolerating such bad behaviour Angry

OP posts:
Prelude · 18/08/2015 01:58

Sorry to hear you had one too Sophia. I wouldn't have been ready to listen to my mother but then she was the "what did you do to encourage / provoke him?"type Hmm

Our DDs will be luckier!

I love the idea of the MN card. Maybe a version for the bully too? I have cards from the National Autistic Society, laminated, for flicking at judgy fuckers when I'm out with DS. As well as being quite sharp Grin they are brilliantly PA worded.

textfan · 18/08/2015 02:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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