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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The name says it all

17 replies

ivegonesexmad · 17/08/2015 16:08

So I'm early 40's. About 6/7 weeks ago I asked my husband to leave. Its been rubbish for years. And so initially I was just so much happier. Great. Then my sex drive which has been completely dormant for years started to come back.

So I drift onto the crazy world of the internet. This is all new to me but who knew there was so much naughty fun to be had. I started off with anonymous chats. Chatting filth and stuff with usually younger guys. I have an ongoing thing with one guy that been going on for about 4 weeks now. He's hot and funny and says all the right things. It's not always sex we chat about normal stuff to.

However it didn't seem enough so I registered on a sex hook up site. I've met up with a guy, we clicked and on the 3rd time I saw him we had sex. It was great. It'll prob happen again.

I'm thinking about sex the whole time. I'm constantly on my phone checking for more messages and sending them.

Honestly I don't know where this has come from. My question is is there any harm in all this? Is it something I just need to burn out of my system? Have a turned into a complete perv? Help Confused

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 16:10

Stay safe. Stay protected from STI's. Stay away from men in relationships.

Have fun !

Whattodoandwhy · 17/08/2015 16:12

I had something like this after leaving xh. It lasted about a year. I had a lot of fun :o

I like to think of it as my year of madness.

Be safe and enjoy.

Awholelottanosy · 17/08/2015 16:14

Ha good for you! I think after years of suppressing your libido it's come back with a bang, and you're having a kind of second adolescence.Perfectly natural, enjoy it, I'm sure it'll blow over eventually. Wink

ButtonMoon88 · 17/08/2015 16:14

As long as you are using protection and stay safe then absolutely enjoy it!!

Original poster
ivegonesexmad · 17/08/2015 16:16

Oh phew. I thought it was just me. I have sort of hinted at some of it with RL friends but they're just Shock so I don't go into details.

So whattodo did it just burn itself out?

I'm worried abut my mental health. It's like an obsession

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 16:17

put some bromide in your tea ? Grin

Original poster
ivegonesexmad · 17/08/2015 16:20

LOL at anyfucker

I might just have to. I'm like an 18 year old boy.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 16:22

actually, I know we are being lighthearted here but you do seem worried

if this really is reaching obsession levels, then maybe you need to talk to someone about your rubbish marriage and work out where you are now

if you think you might escalate the seeking sex for sex sake and put yourself at risk, it's possible you are trying to bolster your self esteem through being sexually desirable to men

that is not a healthy situation, and there are lots of other ways to boost your self worth

however, if you are truly enjoying it, I don't see the problem as it will probably level out in a while

I was rather rampant in my early 40's, tbh not showing any signs of stopping yet

Drew64 · 17/08/2015 16:29

Go for it! as long as you are being careful and safe there is no harm in it.
My wife and I have had lots of fun on the internet including meeting someone in real life. It's very liberating

Original poster
ivegonesexmad · 17/08/2015 16:31

Well the marriage is dead and buried. No going back. I can't believe how much I don't miss him and I'm actually revelling in the fact that he's gone Divorce underway but obvs these things take time.

No I can't see me getting to the point of seeking sex recklessly. If there had been no attraction or connection with bloke it wouldn't have happened.

I guess it's flattering to have so much positive attention though. ExH just seemed to not even notice me or worse was pretty mean. It's nice to be called hot and sexy, rather than fat, ugly and boring.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 16:31

oh, that reminds me

watch out for approaches in your inbox Wink

WitchofScots · 17/08/2015 16:33

Sorry OP but I have to confess to a little smile when I saw this thread in 'Active' with Ivegonesexmad as the OP and AnyFucker as the last person who posted Grin

Whattodoandwhy · 17/08/2015 16:35

It wore off after a year or so. There was a gradual decline.

I wasn't obsessional all the time (not to the point where it interfered with the rest of my life), but any spare time I had became allocated to the pursuit of pleasure :o

It was a nice boost to my confidence, but it wasn't anything real.

I think it was years of pain and tension building up and letting itself go.

Be careful to not get involved with anyone in work or anything like that. Keep it simple.

Original poster
ivegonesexmad · 17/08/2015 16:37

Ok, well thanks all to those for reassuring me that I'm not indeed going mad or the only perv out there Grin

Think I'm going to head to the gym to see if I sort myself out LOL.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 16:39

Witch I am sex mad Wink

it's the abusive fuckers having sex with vulnerable women I'm not too keen on...

AnyFucker · 17/08/2015 16:41

OMG ! You're not going to the gym are you ?! Wink

Whattodoandwhy · 17/08/2015 16:52

Ah yes, the gym Wink

Excellent exercise.

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