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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What to say to people about spilt

2 replies

BrandsHatch · 16/08/2015 18:14

'D'h and I have split over the holidays and family/close friends know. That's fine - I've just been honest about the reasons (very heavy drinking among others) & I'm very happy about the split. but when it comes to all the people I know through the dc and school, local area etc I don't want to go into details, one for the kids sake I don't want their dads misdemeanours filtering down to them & two because he'll still see them at events etc. I'm a bit worried about 'facing' all these people in September, actually just writing this is helping me sort this in my head. Several acquaintances have spilt in the past few years & it's been a huge talking point in the playground, much fuss made over the supposed wronged party & texts & emails flying about how to help/who's going to make her a pie etc one even made an announcement at Cubs ! I'm shy but on the other hand I don't want to be rude. I don't want sympathies because I'm frickin delighted he's gone but I can't say that can I?! If I said thanks but I'm fine, save your sympathies for the kids' does that sound rude?!

OP posts:
Garlick · 16/08/2015 18:22

No, it sounds perfect :)

Like nearly everyone else, my exes and I generally ended up saying we just weren't compatible and/or had grown apart. Most people don't care that much, they're just asking in case you need to talk - and would be crap listeners, but hey.

"Save your sympathies for the kids" is great, imo!

cozietoesie · 16/08/2015 18:23

Why do you need to say even that? Why not just say 'We've split up - things weren't working between us' and leave it there? People will likely talk anyway so I suspect that the less you say the better.

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