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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've started dating.

12 replies

Klaptout · 14/08/2015 22:22

After being widowed I had a relationship which started off well but became difficult, we were unable to move beyond dating, couldn't live together due to issues with our respective children, I ended it last year, a tough thing to do but my kids have to come first.
I recently met a guy on a widow dating site, we chatted for a long time. Then exchanged numbers and have had two dates, first I was very nervous but within half an hour of meeting for afternoon tea I lost the nerves, so did he.
We spent three hours talking and laughing in the tearoom garden.
We then realised that the place was empty other than us and the staff!
We left and he suggested a walk along the river, we had a lovely walk, a peck on the lips as we said goodbye.
We chatted by text later and he suggested lunch the next day, it was equally lovely, lots of laughter, no awkward silences. A hug and a kiss as we parted.
He went off on a sailing holiday the next day but before going he put a note on his profile saying that he had met someone and would be closing his profile. ( can only close it by phone)
He said he wouldn't be able to get a signal out at sea, so I've not heard from him since Monday when he set sail. His last text said that he had been smiling in his sleep and would continue to smile whilst away.
He was due back today and I've not heard from him, did I read him wrong?
We had talked about meeting up tomorrow.
What would you think/do.

OP posts:
pinkfrocks · 14/08/2015 22:23

He's only been back a few hours- relax!

pinkfrocks · 14/08/2015 22:41

Wait to hear from him.
If he's not contacted you by early next week maybe drop him a text and ask if he had a good trip. Keep it light.
You've had two dates. Although it all went well, it's still very early days and you don't really know him or how he feels. But hope it works out for you.

AlpacaMyBags · 14/08/2015 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goddessofsmallthings · 14/08/2015 22:52

Getting back to land in a sailboat depends on the wind and the sea and if, say, he's having a great time with a bunch of mates, he may have decided to prolong his holiday for a day or two.

If he's keen you'll hear from him. If not, it's not a great loss as there's no shortage of fish in the dating ocean.

Klaptout · 15/08/2015 01:25

Thank you for your posts.
Sorry not to post earlier, he rang and nipped over for a drink, it seems I was worrying over nothing, I'm clearly a dating novice.

OP posts:
Smilingforth · 15/08/2015 07:01

Lovely to hear . Enjoy!

Danceintherain2015 · 15/08/2015 10:01

Ahh sounds lovely !
The meeting and being the last ones there sounds just like me and my DP - the bar staff had to come and ask us to leave as they were closing the bar ( and neither of us drinking as both driving! ) on our first date - been together 2 years!
Good luck OP - relax and don't overthink it!

Klaptout · 15/08/2015 11:49

I think we overstayed our welcome, they were mopping the floor when we went out!
I think you are right and I was over thinking it.
I'm going to be off on holiday from midweek so we are planning a couple of dates before then, it's a bit of a juggle with all our kids being off school and college.
I'm walking around permanently smiling but can't mention why, kids look confused!

OP posts:
sadwidow28 · 15/08/2015 19:10

Oh good luck with this one. Take things slowly because you have both been hurt by grief. You may even get times where one (or both of you) feel 'disloyal' to your previous partner(s). There is no need for that because you both deserve to feel happiness again.

Get to know him but never measure him against your late-DH. This is a new, different relationship - you can't simply replicate what you had with your late-DH. You will be looking for the same things you always valued in a partner, but see this dating as part of building your "new normal".

Flowers
Klaptout · 05/09/2015 02:29

Good advice widow, thank you.
Well things have moved on significantly
11 dates now, we are wearing matching smiles and planning a night away together next week, I'm nervously excited.

OP posts:
Oblique27 · 05/09/2015 10:20

Ah, a good news thread, how lovely, enjoy your time away and let us know how it goes Flowers

Klaptout · 05/09/2015 21:19

Had a lovely date today, out for lunch and then down to the river to see his boat, I'm not sure who's more excited about Friday.

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