MIL Rant, DH Rant....Infact, Family Rant

[QuootieMincePieButIDontLikeEm]

I am so so pissed off. Anyone who read my thread the other week will know what happened... and how I forgave DH and all that... but now I really dont know if I should. Firstly, I went to MILs the othr day, and she totally blanked me. No "oh, how are you, you ok now?". No. Fair enough, some people dont have manners... but then his grandamother rung. He told her aswell... "oh, how are you? You OK...etc etc. Your under so much stress blah blah blah." To him, not me. Then she tells DHs aunty to ring him to make sure hes OK. The poor lamb. No one has made sure im ok.

To top it off, not that its anything to do with it, my MIL has been having men round her house when FIL has only been dead 3 months. & lying to DH about it. Fair enough, none of my business etc.etc. but DH has been giving her money from his inheritance for her to spend on so far 3 different blokes from the internet. He went round there the other day and the door was locked, and when he got in, his mum said he was a plasterer giving a quote. I am so damn annoyed at the whole immoral bunch. A while ago she was too "grief stricken" to open a parcel of her late partners... until someone asked for a photo of her, then she opened it up (a leather biker jacket) and took photos of her sitting on late FILs bike... to send to some pervert no doubt.

I know people deal with grief in different ways, but in my book its not strangling your wife, and not inviting people off the internet into your bed.

Please be gentle if you rant back at me for being insensative to grief or something.

Maybe I should have name changed? ah, fuck it.

have i read right? did dh try to strangle you????

quootie (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

families can be sh*t

you can;t change them...but you can change the way you react to them..rise above it and know you are the better person
if you want to make a go of it with DH..then you need to take this into account though..it sounds like they are going to let him keep believing he is top dog...can you deal with that?

sorry..not great at this sort of thing...!

Didnt read your thread the other week so dont know what has happened but from this thread alone, I think you are entitled to have a rant.

So rant away.

yep he did, and I forgave him... and hes getting all the sympathy. No one has asked if im ok. Not DHs fault... but still. I am so so so so so sick of his family. They are so weird.

thats abit better

They are not good enough for you Quootie
Sorry if that sounds really snobbish but that is what your post is screaming at me. I'm sure you love your dh and potentially you will have a good life together but I would just steer clear of the rest of them, they just sound ignorant.

I did stay away for 2 years... but when FIL died, I thought I should be the better person (abit of history) and my 1st feelings about them were right. They are awful people... they really are. Now MIL gets to see DS, she ignores me. I wish I never gave in now... I cant go back on it. I got a talking to by most the family (who only heard one side) and lay down and took it, because I cant bad-mouth someone who had recently died Why arent families normal??

omg thats awful. rant away. look on the bright side, you have the moral high ground. you are the one in the right and it sounds like they are using grief as an excuse to behave badly.

Sometimes I really have to double think what ive gotten myself in to... DH, off work to try and sort himself out etc. is currently playing the playstation. I will rant at that now

Bloody hell his family are bizarre. I really, really hope this doesn't make him feel like he doesn't need to accept responsibility for his behaviour.

I just dont know to be honest. I think he feels now hes hard done by and all that... and no doubt im the wife from hell

Well, you need to crack right down on that sharpish before he begins to believe it.

yeah... I do. But I think the seeds been planted now... if I was a man, and my mum heard id done that, she would kill me.

for a start it's sounding very mother and their son type behaviour. you know, poor lamb he's perfect, things just happen to him, he's not to blame.

grr.

however it is not excusable.

can you really not keep your distance from her?????

babe..you are young

do you want to be dealing with this sh*t for the next 50 years?

i know i said that you shouldn;t break up with him as a knee jerk reaction ,if he can;t anger management and help re his fathers death...but if he isn;t doing those things...i think you need a rethink of your options..x

hes getting help - seen GP, gopt councilling appointment etc. which will lead onto anger management... hes ok, its his damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn family.

Yes, typical mother/son...

I dont want to have to deal with MIL for the next however many years though! I cannot see what she brings to DSs life to justify sitting in her smoke filled pit hour after hour in silence,

there is no easy answer!

get her to go on jeremey kyle LOLOLOLOLOLOLO!

sorry! (((hug)))) you are a good , strong , caring person..you can make the right choices for you and your family...xxx

Quootie, im at a bit of a loss at what to say really, but couldnt just slink off the thread without telling you i really feel for you sweetpea! I really hope he either gets himself sorted or (if he is a complete lost cause, i dont know enough to make this judgement) You realise you are better than them and rise above them alltogether, leaving them to their own screwed up devices.

ive thought about that - shes just the type

get her to go on...and then we can make sure the entire audience is made up of mnet people!! lol

lol - i wouldnt though!

OMG!!

Will his family change?

If the answer is no, then you've got to lose them. Just how much stress are you under right now? Is that okay with you? Can or rather should you live with this stress and anger?

Difficult decisions need to be made, and yes you can go back on your 'word' and stop contact with his family!! Promises only work in 'normal' circumstances...I think you are in exceptional circumstances! Are you worried about hurting their feelings?

Hope your okay tho, you must have been terrified xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yes im worried about huring their feelings. No doubt DH will finish with me if I say I cant see his mum anymore... since we've been back on speaking terms, hes gotten back to being tied to her apron strings. It stresses me out an emormous amount... I just put myself forward for more kicking down all the time. Maybe I should put a stop to it...