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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Buying house withDP

12 replies

Pigzoom · 11/08/2015 10:11

Hi
I'm in process of buying house with DP. We have 2small DCs.
We can't agree on what we want. I think we've found the perfect house bu he can't commit to putting offer on.
Has anyone any experience in house hunting with DP and trying to find something that keeps us both happy

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 11/08/2015 10:48

Have you sat down and written a list of all your must-haves and nice-to-haves? Does he have specific objections about this house that you like, or is he just not feeling it?

Pigzoom · 11/08/2015 11:05

He feels it, he says his heart is in it. It's just there's a few aspects he's not happy with.
It's great for me as in catchment area for great school and I can keep the DCs at their day care they've known since DC1 was 9 months old. And DC can stay at the play school she knows so well. It means I can work as the day care is so cheap in comparison to others. I want to work to further my career

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 11/08/2015 11:12

So is there something else that he doesn't like about it?

Or do you think he's unwilling to commit because he's having doubts about it working out between you?

LineRunner · 11/08/2015 11:14

What are his actual objections to the house?

Pigzoom · 11/08/2015 11:47

No garage, although we have a solution, a metal framed garage. But this can have condensation inside, he found out from Google. His tools are for his job and vital for income they are kept in garage. They can be insured in this type of garage, he found this out too. So I think he's interested and trying tofind solution but struggling due to condensation in the garage that we would have to buy and slot to side if house. The living room is small too. Sorry not well written have 2 DCs here

OP posts:
LineRunner · 11/08/2015 11:58

Well, they do seem reasonable concerns on the face of it. I think you might need to keep looking at the same time as trying to work out if a compromise on this house is feasible.

LovelyFriend · 11/08/2015 12:00

If you aren't married have you got a written legal agreement in place as to who owns (or will own) what re the house? Will it be owned jointly in both your names?

Pigzoom · 11/08/2015 12:24

Yes I think that the concerns are valid. We've both got hefty deposits and the mortgage in both our names but paid as a result of DPs earnings. I will get something drawn up as we'd both like to get our fair share back if we split

OP posts:
BackforGood · 11/08/2015 12:49

If those tools need to be kept in a dry, indoor store, then that is of pretty high importance I'd have thought - that is his living. Maybe it's not the one. Of maybe (if there's space for a metal framed garage) then there's space for a brick built outhouse of some sort instead, with proper ventilation and security for the tools?
It's such a major investment. I'm the first to say there is no "perfect" house within anyone's price range but I'd have thought storage for the tools would need to be as high up the "must have" list as things like the schools and childcare. After all, he's going to need the tools a lot longer than you are going to need the childcare.

Pigzoom · 13/08/2015 00:28

Update: (if interested) change of mind we out offer on it and very happy. One link in chain us and them. Garage to be built as soon as we move in

OP posts:
Pigzoom · 13/08/2015 00:28

*put

OP posts:
BackforGood · 13/08/2015 00:49

Thanks - always nice to hear 'what happens' when you've read / inputted on to a thread Smile

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