I've NC because of the sensitive nature, but please read and help with words of advice if you can...
It's not a new problem, been ongoing for years. He had a spell of counselling a few years ago at my insistence but has broadly maintained that he's doing nothing wrong and doesn't have a problem. He always felt that I was nagging him.
Over the weekend, something happened that has shocked him. He was away for the weekend, went missing for pretty much an entire night (midnight to 6am) and then finally returned to his friends at the hotel, covered in blood and having been picked up by a kind taxi driver miles away. He doesn't know what happened or where he'd been. It's frightened him enough that he realises he needs help. I asked why this is different to all the other times he's been too drunk, he says it's because he's messed himself up (the injuries) and it's starting to affect relationships/work etc. He's asked for my support.
I said I was concerned that I didn't 'feel' much about it - once upon a time I'd have been upset, angry, all the rest of it, but I don't feel much about this... I'm hoping it doesn't mean it's too late for us, because I honestly feel like we're meant to be together. He's my best friend and soul mate, I don't want to be without him, and the excessive drinking is the only real trouble in our relationship. Nonetheless, I feel relieved that he's admitted a problem and I said I'd support him.
I just feel really lost and uncertain... part of me is glad and relieved that he's admitted the problem, part of me just wants to cry like a baby for the emotional release, part of me wants to be heard and acknowledged about how it's all affected me over the years, part of me is cynical that it's all talk and we're going to be having the same discussion in a few months, part of me is scared (although I don't know what I'm scared of).
Sorry for rambling and thank you for reading. I just don't know what to do, and I'm not even sure what I'm asking for in this thread, just hoping for some words of advice or guidance from people who might have been through it.
He's made a GP appointment - is that a good or bad idea, will it stigmatise him? Would he be better going elsewhere? Can I be involved in one or two sessions to get across the impact on me, or is that not a good idea? I feel like I've not had a voice in any of this experience as he's dismissed everything I've said as 'nagging' and everything he's said/done as 'normal'. It's not normal though, bedwetting, getting lost and being unable to find your way home, getting yourself hurt, pushing me to the ground and/or putting hands round my neck, none of that is normal but it's all behaviour that happens with him if he drinks too much (never at any other time).
Sorry - rambling again. I'm not usually so incoherent. I'm lost, and worried.