OLD - two messages per day, non over the weekend. Would you trust?

[Inexperiencedchick]

Started to chat to someone online. So he texts once early morning and one message late evening after 10 pm but before 11pm.
Hasn't texted over the weekends at all. But did yesterday after 10pm and stated being busy...

Would you trust?

I always found it quiet re messages etc at weekends as everyone generally on dates or out and about if work all week.

the last thing I would want is daily 'good morning gorgeous' texts from someone who I've never met Oh dear God this!

TBH Deep inside I don't believe I will find someone on OLD OP I don't think that I will either, but it'll be good practice and what is there to lose?

Yes a routine of messaging with someone I've never met seems a little

I made such a mess, I'm crying now...

I had a proper offer of relationship but just couldn't commit. He was nonstop abusing me emotionally because I wouldnt open my legs when he wanted.
When I offered he said no, then he explained himself being man the back foot. But being on the back foot doesn't allow someone to abuse the one who is offering you proper commitment.

He could win me over by being nice and supportive instead he abused me more for not wanting anything... In fact I really wanted to be with him but had an emotional block due to his earlier behaviour.

And I still do miss him...

This doesn't help my situation at all, sorry people...

'Trying your luck' seems a really sensible approach to OLD. It's good practise, fun, gives plenty of anecdotes and it might just lead to something interesting.
Not trusting people you haven't met (and even then, being cautious) sounds pretty wise too.
Feel confident enough to say - 'are we going out for a coffee/drink then?'. Meeting up is an entirely normal thing to do! If they don't want to - or if they make you feel desperate - that really is their problem (and as pp said they are prob weird/married)

op, if it's not actually meeting someone that you're looking for perhaps you would be better joining a forum relating to an interest you have? Then you can make friends that way? I've made various friends both online and irl through interestts I have, podcasting and the like, some I have met in person some I never have and likely never will but know enough about them iyswim - male and female. In fact mn is or can be like that, plenty of people on mn connect through fb, twitter etc. And sometimes there might be the opportunity to connect with people on a more intimate level then if you get to know them better.

I met my dp through a work related podcast which I used to run. He listened to it, read my blog, approached me about doing some work for his organisation. It turned out we had mutual acquaintances. We stayed in touch for about a year some work related stuff, some general discussion. My marriage broke down during that time for unrelated reasons. We met up as friends about nine months after me and xh had split and got together shortly after that. Totally unplanned, in fact I wasn't in the market for a relationship at all at that point and would rather stick pins in my eyes than do OLD.

For me the idea of contacting someone with a view to seeing whether they would be future relationship material doesn't sit comfortably at all. That's no reflection on anyone else who chooses that route but it wouldn't be for me, and I wonder if you have similar thoughts? hence why just chatting online about mutual interests etc might be a way to make friends and potentially more.

@myturn, thank you. It's true there is nothing to loose.

X-post. You did the right thing not committing to this bully. You should feel proud of yourself. What kind of life would you have with this horrible man?

@MixedBerrys, I think the same.

In the nicest possible way, I don't think you're in the right frame of mind for OLD at the moment.

I know, that's why I'm not dating either...

OLD is not for you atm. Really, look after yourself. You have to be at your most resilient to survive it.

Thanks Scatter

OP, please try not to be downhearted. It's just one go at OLD and there'll be other ones. What stands out for me is your good instinct about this one guy and his texting behaviour. That seems really promising, you're still keeping your feet on the ground.
I was very unconfident and suspicious when I went on OLD. I had a young DP at the time and was quite paranoid about meeting strangers. But it worked well because I made my profile very very specific to what I really wanted and felt was important to me. I knew I didn't want to go on 1001 dates (romance is soooo time consuming!). I promised myself that I would meet any suitable candidates sooner rather than later. And we would first speak by phone.
I weeded out lots of texters who I felt were unsuitable. I physically met 2 men, the second of whom is now my DH. A huge amount of luck is involved but there are also things you can control eg saying what you're looking for in a relationship. I think if you get a good vibe from the messages, meeting soonish is helpful in keeping it real. And keep that good instinct going! Best of luck.

@Lady, Thank you for your support.

Sounds like you made completely the right decision with regards to your last relationship- you could never be happy with someone who was emotionally abusing you OP- you might miss the feeling of being with someone but I don't think you actually miss 'him' do you?
Re: old it does sound odd given the timings. I would suggests a meet up if he's reluctant or unavailable then I think that will confirm he has a life with someone else.
Keep trying old though just casual coffee dates here and there might lead to finding someone you really like.

Thank you Wishful :)

OP, if you're concerned he's married and you have his number, you can always try a reverse search on facebook messenger. Just type the number into the search box in the people tab, if he's on facebook and has his number linked to it, his full name and profile will come up. I know it sounds stalkerish but I have caught someone out playing happy families with his wife on there while pretending to be single!

I will see if I get a message from him tonight after 10pm, will post updates afterwords :)

What happened???

He texted again yesterday evening, before 10pm and then before 11pm after my reply to his earlier message. Funny enough now I don't think he is married. If he is the same person I found in Google, then he lives with his parents and brothers...

Is it really bad to check up someone's information online?

Ibsay meet him (in a public and busy place, preferably with a friend nearby!)

Of course it's not bad to check up on a total stranger! Certainly before meeting him.
In fact lots of companies will check up on FB, twitter, etc before they offer you a job. It's public information and they use it. So should you.

It's sad to say but I think it will stay as it is.
He lives far from London and did state yesterday "it's shame you don't live somewhere close. London is very far"