dating - guardian soulmates

[penelope1985]

this might seem like a strange question but does anyone know, if you sign up for this site is there a way of avoiding being one of the profiles that crops up on the papers website? You know the banner of photos and names that sometimes appears in the middle of articles when you are reading online - I really don't want to be one of those!

I know loads of people at work read the guardian as well as family etc and for a multitude of reasons I'd really rather they didn't know I was internet dating!

Any thoughts on guardian soulmates in general or thoughts on any viable alternative sites to use would be very welcome!

A friend of mine was on it and she said there was a tick box if you wanted to be on the front page. She was dithering about it

She reckoned it was quite a good site and the men on it were generally better behaved than Plenty of Fish, but that's not hard.

You don't have to show your photo at all; you can arrange for someone you've approved to see it as soon as you've approved them.

There's a tick box so you can opt out of all the publicity. I mean who wants that lol

I didn't find it very good at all, just not very many men on there. But one of my work colleagues met her husband on there - so no harm in trying

I don't think you can opt out of those adds you mention best I can tell they seem to be those newly joined.

That said, they do have a feature that allows you to opt out of some adds if you don't add a picture you won't feature in any adds -if you don't add a picture you'd get very few if any views of your profile.

If you're in London its busy not so in smaller cities. Ok Cupid is busy as is Plenty of Fish.

I've used GSM/Match/Ok Cupid. Had lots of dates from GSM same with Ok Cupid.

I like Soulmates thought Ok Cupid was decent not a fan of Match many posters on this site love Plenty of Fish:)

If you choose not to have a photo you'll get no views what so ever hence you'll have no-one contacting you leaving you to do all the work.

okay brilliant, thanks. i probably will add a photo but just don't want my face splashed everywhere!

I'm a bit terrified of the free ones... like tinder or POF.... not sure I want to have to try and work out if the men on it are just looking for sex. at least on the paid sites I know they must on some level want a relationship!

I'm also wondering about my single friend?? I had a look at the recent male joiners in my area though and was thoroughly underwhelmed!!

Well, I don't know that paying on a dating site ensures you'll only have men looking for relationships as opposed to just sex.

There is some sage advice on the dating thread you should have a look.

On the likes of Soulmates you'll have way less traffic meaning you'll have far less rubbish to sift through.

Soulmates is a fair representation of its readers the majority( Male and female) are quite ambitious, have traveled the world many times, bilingual, run marathons before breakfast ,it go's without saying 90% have built a school in Sub Saharan Africa on their summer break:)

Good luck.

Haha oh dear!! oh god looks like I need to do some research. I'll have a look at the dating thread, thank you :)

Tinder is for hook-ups, so don't join that unless that's what you want.

I have found OKC and POF okay, but you will always get a large percentage of the men (and some women as well) who just want casual sex. You can usually tell from their messages though - one word specials like "Hi" or "Hey :)" or maybe a really literate one like "Ur so hot".

So are the profiles on the public bits (ie the bits you see before you even to register, let alone pay) actually genuine ones of current people on the site?

I was wondering if they were specially blended (like tea) just to advertise. Especially as I've been browsing (teetering on the edge of using) a few sites, and those that have their admin run by The Dating Lab are spookily similar.

(I'm browsing because I'm trying to work out a username that won't stick out like a sore thumb, and also how to describe current lack of occupation).

I always think that the more detailed the profile and the more lengthy the initial contact the more serious the person is.