Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Well that went really f****g wrong!

47 replies

midlifehope · 08/08/2015 17:14

Am 35 weeks pregnant and got one of those plaster of Paris belly cast thingies. Asked dp to do it as you have to get your boobs and belly out. He put it off for ages and finally agreed today.
However he was huffing and puffing, pulling faces, grimacing and saying he couldn't do it, didn't like it, etc. ds was sweetly and enthusiastically trying to help, but dp was not involving him and was saying he was just getting in the way.

The whole thing was a disaster and eventually dp stormed off, said it looked crap and as I moved half the thing fell off. I pulled the rest off and started crying. A fricking disaster of something that was meant to be fun and sentimental.

Am really hurt and upset by how off put dp was by doing this. Have taken it as a big rejection of me and my pregnant body. Really hate him and upset now. What could have caused his ridiculous reaction? Many other friends partners I know have done this without drama.

OP posts:

Anniegetyourgun · 08/08/2015 19:29

My belly was massive, especially with DC4 still is 18 years later but my navel always remained triumphantly in.

I don't get taking a cast of it though. Where would you keep it? WHY would you keep it? Who would you show it to? How depressing would it be if the next one was bigger? Babies' hand/foot casts I can just about grasp.

G1veMeStrength · 08/08/2015 19:43

With DC 1 we took regular bump photos at x, y, z weeks and I made an album. With DC 2 I didn't get round to photos and decided a bump cast would be a good souvenir of the pregnancy as DC would love to see in future how excited we were about their imminent arrival. And didn't want DC2 to feel less important even though I hadn't got round to taking photos.

DC1 is 10 and not interested in bump photos. DC2 is 8 and equally not interested in cast. Perfectly equal then

I was quite chuffed that when we were burgled the bastards went to some trouble to get cast box down from wardrobe. It is in a nice box and probably looked like it would have something valuable in. Ha! They left it behind.(Also the DC teeth that the tooth fairy had hidden in a jewellery box at back of wardrobe. There is shit all to steal in our house.)

Anniegetyourgun · 08/08/2015 19:46

OK, upsetting burglars, that's a good use :)

ScoutRifle · 08/08/2015 19:53

My ex hates doing stuff like that but for my last pregnancy we gave it a go and he really enjoyed doing it. I didn't like doing it though but I just put up and shut up. You do these things for the one you love even if you don't particularly want to.

SurlyCue · 08/08/2015 20:12

You do these things for the one you love even if you don't particularly want to.

Well, you can, but there's no rule. You dont have to.

htf2 · 08/08/2015 20:29

I had to do (and not do) a whole lot of shit when pregnant , and that's what you do to have a baby. if I really wanted something and my dh was such a child about it would be really pissed off. Maybe he wasn't going to be good at it but I bet he could have done better than he did but couldn't be bothered trying properly as he preferred sulking. Burn his dinner to a crisp as you didn't feel like making it? Better yet iron a huge hole in his shirt as you didn't feel like ironing it !! Mature suggestions I know !

Diagonally · 08/08/2015 20:30

I reckon he didnt feel very confident about doing it and couldn't handle the responsibility of possibly f'ing it up and disappointing you so he threw the whole thing.

Like people doodling on an exam paper instead of attempting the questions because they think they are going to fail.

ShuShuFontana · 08/08/2015 20:34

everything else aside what the buggery bollocks will you do with it?

fruit bowl? garden pond? baby bath?

Original poster

midlifehope · 08/08/2015 20:36

Id probably keep it in my bedroom - not in the lounge lol!

OP posts:

Fishwives · 08/08/2015 20:38

Well, there's a difference between a one-off pregnancy craft disaster and what you say about him being like an emotionally-unavailable flatmate rather than a partner.

Original poster

midlifehope · 08/08/2015 20:42

Id probably keep it in my bedroom - not in the lounge lol!

OP posts:

CalleighDoodle · 08/08/2015 21:26

I did one of these for my first chold with my husband. She loves wearing it aged 5 lol! Do it with a friend. You dont have to include your boobs in it. It can just be bump.

Anyway, it could have gone wrong in different ways. Plaster of paris and a not very well kept 'area' creates some discomfort.

sykadelic · 08/08/2015 21:30

I was all set to tell you that most people don't do it topless but after a quick google it would seem I'm wrong... that said. I prefer the look of the ones that aren't topless. Like the ones attached.

If he's really freaked out by your belly it makes sense that he doesn't want to do it, or have it done at all honestly. Why would he want a reminder of the thing that freaks him out around his house?

I agree with the people asking where you'd put it too... It'll be huge. I think a belly shoot would be better and easier to display around the house.

Newtobecomingamum · 09/08/2015 08:18

If he's perfect in every other way let this one go. Men have silly reactions to things they don't understand and tbh my hubby would probably think was a strange thing and be uncomfortable doing it. If he really didn't want to do in the first place and have you pushed him into it., he did have a go at least. He might be crafty or was worried he was going to mess it up. If your friend has offered go for it, we all have boobs big/small whatever and she wouldn't have offered if she didn't want to do. She would probably do a better job anyway! Don't be too hard on him. Maybe a bit of pregnancy hormones in the mix too :)

Newtobecomingamum · 09/08/2015 08:19

*he might not be crafty

Happytuesdays99 · 09/08/2015 08:27

I've never heard of anyone doing this! I wouldn't let it bother you.

Twinklestein · 09/08/2015 09:27

Iirc OP your partner does not work, spends all his time on his hobbies including his boat, on which he spent all his redundancy money, he does no housework, no childcare, while you are working FT, doing all the chores, with 1 child and another on the way. In short, he's a selfish arsehole with no interest in family life and no concern for you whatsoever. I wonder why you thought he would enjoy doing this for you?

Personally I would give up the self-pretence that you're in normal loving relationship and quit trying to force him to do things to convince yourself that you are. You've got much bigger problems than a pregnancy cast.

Diagonally · 09/08/2015 09:53

Ah. If someone's keeping you and family life at arms length because they can't handle the responsibility then I can see why going anywhere near your bump would have been nigh on impossible. He might have to accept there's an actual baby in there.

Ivegottoknow · 09/08/2015 09:56

Oh, it's that guy.

Rubgyshapedlegs · 09/08/2015 10:01

DH just said he'd have done it for my boobs. "Oh yes the boobs. But not the belly. You've still got the belly."

I really should Leave The Bastard.

CalleighDoodle · 09/08/2015 10:50

You really should

KevinKnowsImMiserableNow · 09/08/2015 19:00

I would be horrified at the idea of having one of those enormous ugly casts knocking round my house forever more so I see your DH's point of view.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread