How to tell the kids, advice needed

[DiamondsInTheFlesh]

I'm feeling elated at the moment, exh & I are separated and he's finally moving out on the weekend. There's been no ow/om but there's huge amounts of resentment & bad feeling. we have tried really hard to create an illusion for the kids, we don't argue in front of them although inevitably the sniding/eye rolling etc has spilled over. Plus we haven't slept in the same room for several years which they know (but haven't questioned??).

Does anyone have any advice on telling the kids/what to say/what not to say? Ds is 9 (eldest) and bound to cry, we are normally very emotionally attuned but I'm worried I won't feel empathetic as I'm feeling so elated at the moment.

I can't believe that this time next week I'll be free of this man child who I've really begun to hate, I just cannot wait to finally be free of him (well free of living with him) But for the kids it's going to be a change dad won't be sat on the sofa every night drinking and ignoring them oh ok he does take them to the cinema sometimes & he tells rubbish jokes & tickles them occasionally.

Has anyone been through this can give me some advice? Ty

Told DC today. Tried to be matter of fact and reassuring. H not helping with big tearful "i don't want it to happen". Stunned silence from DC, a few tears. DD said "what is there to say, you never tell us anything". DS awkward but kind, had a little chat later about what the new living arrangements might be. DD (19) went out, hope she is with a friend.

I guess I am glad it is done and out in the open, of course it will continue tomorrow and over the coming weeks, helping them to understand it and get through anger / sadness / anxiety...

Hi all, following this thread with interest as this was me 18 months ago. I found a book called " putting children first - a handbook for separated parents" very useful, both for advice about telling your children and moving forwards. It's on Amazon...sorry, I'm not clever enough to do a link! Our split was amicable, although still stressful. I think the most important thing is emphasising that none of what is happening is the fault of the children and you both still love them very much. We also had worked out what was going to happen regards weekly routine and were able to tell our son how things would pan out practically. There was as little change as possible at the start. It helps to let school know as children often worry about who they would speak to if they got upset in school. I spoke to my sons teacher and a TA in his class ( it helps that I work in the school!) and let him know that these were people he could go to. Also that one of my best friends, a mum to his friends, knew and if he wanted to speak to her, she was there for him. One of the best things we did was get him a cheap mobile ( he was 9 at the time) so that he and his dad could contact each other independently of me.
It's a difficult, emotional time for all involved and a good support network is essential. Wishing you all strength.....there are happier times ahead!