Why do I still love him?

[Theresatrexinmybed]

I don't know why as he is a complete arsehole but! I still love my dcs dad.

He left two years ago and is living with his gf (ow) and I miss him and if he wanted to I would let him come home.
I know he still cares about me but wether he loves me is a different story I feel so much calmer when he is around and I feel complete.

He and his gf aren't getting on atm and I don't know what to do.

Make sure you aren't confusing the idea of him (the loving father of your children) vs the reality (a man who treated the mother of his children horribly and hurt his children)

I'm trying not to I've had dates with a few guys since the split but it never goes anywhere as they are just not him.

I know he hurt me and dcs were too young to remember us together but we were both in a bad place,

You really need to move on, he didn't just cheat, he's now with the OW, and sometimes couples don't get on, do you really want to embroil yourself in their relationship.

Instead of harking back to the past, you need to look forward and find someone to fill that space, you're fantasising about something that isn't there anymore.

Why do you want a man that left you and your children, think about it.