My son whom I love is relocating

[bridie69]

..not what it seems as a title as he actually already lives abroad in Brussels where he works. He has a good career there and has been successful for his age-27. He has got itchy feet recently and now has 2 opportunities to be posted abroad again 1 in Tokyo 1 in Dublin. I am immensely flattered as he is normally.so quiet that he has asked for my advice. His father is dead and he said he respects me and I love that. TBH I know although he didn't say exactly partly he would like to meet someone and hasn't managed it in Br. Although he has friends and work colleagues etc it has really got to him that he has noone special in his life and he sees Br as a work place where people are transient. I am Honestly trying to be objective and not let my own recently rekindled love for all things Hibernian or wanting him not to be too far away cloud my advice. I think he is currently leaning towards Dublin as same language similar culture etc. I know he is my son but hr has so much to offer someone and is a lovely handsome kind and respectful young man I just want to see him happy.He works btw in international development. Both jobs are the same level and pay and prospects. Will be interested to hear your thoughts..

If he is looking for life experience, definitely Tokyo. If he is looking to meet someone, my (admittedly very old) experience is that the ex pat community in Tokyo is small and transitory and it can be difficult to really integrate and live a local rather than ex pat lifestyle.

Assuming he'll be working for the Japanese government or a Japanese NGO, the culture and approach to international development is very different to what he would have experienced in Europe - may also be worth thinking about if he has strong views of how things should be done.

My topic has come. Lived and worked in London for 10 years, then went to Tokyo for what was meant to be 3 years and ended up staying for nearly 10. Now back in the UK. I had three opportunities available to me when I chose to go to Japan - different role in London, something in Europe or Tokyo - the latter won out on the basis that an opportunity to work in Tokyo might well not come up again where the others probably would. With hindsight I would make the same decision.

~ Tokyo can have great work opportunities and is a fascinating place to live (at least for a few years). I would thoroughly commend it to anyone who has the opportunity.
~ Japan is culturally very different, which can make the initial settling in quite challenging, but it has many things going for it. Tokyo is clean, orderly and efficient in many respects and the service culture makes it a (comparatively) easy place to live.
~ Tokyo does have a significant transient expat population - probably not dissimilar to Brussels in that respect. While there are a number of long term non-Japanese residents there are also a big proportion on 2,3,5 year rotations through Tokyo.
~ Anyone (non-Japanese) living there needs to be able to reconcile themselves with never being Japanese. They will (almost) always be an outsider at some level in Japan, even if they speak the language and try to integrate.
~ Accommodation / cost of living in Japan is generally high. Worth confirming whether any support is given, otherwise your son may find his standard of living goes down on a move to Tokyo.

Happy to provide more thoughts if that would be useful.

Macshoto and others thanks from the bottom of my heart. You are all so lovely and helpful. I thought I'd already posted a response but seems not. I very foolishly omitted to say DS lived and worked as an English teacher in Japan aged 22 but near Nagoya not Tokyo. He enjoyed learning about the culture but did not feel he integrated that much and made some progress with the language but not enough. He feels accommodation will be an issue in Tokyo and could buy a nice property outside Dublin. He has been to Ireland several times and loves it as he was visiting his late Dad s relatives. Working there is different of course. I am happy for him to go anywhere except London which he hates although he did 3 years here partly to help me and his then teenage sister who was grieving badly for her father. His American colleague was so unobjective he justs wants to get some balance now. While we are on it I would love to hear from those who have lovely things to say about their own adult children. He did not have it easy and I am just so proud of everything he has achieved just would love to see him meet someone nice. Mothers of single ladies in Ireland or indeed Japan particularly. But please in some kind of thanks for your kindness and info I want to hear about your lovely offspring too.

If he's looking to meet someone and settle down, have children etc then Tokyo could mean that for the rest of your life your son is overseas, your grandchildren are born overseas etc.

Honestly, I think he should go to Dublin. He can always go on holiday to Tokyo!

Well he will find his own path in life and knows I will support him whatever. Come on then, would love to hear from proud Ms about their adult DCs. I know I am not alone in being so blessed

Oh I can tell you really want him to get a wife and settle down. In that case (& assuming he wants to) then Ireland's a great place to find a good wife, we (Yes I am Irish) make great wives! Especially the kind if Wife that Mammies love

However I would say that while there are great opportunities for careers here he would have greater opportunities in Tokyo, by far!

As others said Japan for experience but Dublin if he wants a family life. Both are big on family life but as others have said he will always be an outsider in Japan even if he stays for the rest of his life. He will end up part of the expat bubble with brief excursions into Japanese life. Dublin is a nice city - expensive but with good cultural and social life. I would do a couple of years in Tokyo but I would settle in Dublin. The culture in Japan is just too different for the longterm.