I didn't know what area to put this in but as it's about family relationships I decided in here.
There's a long back story and I don't want to say too much as it's not really my place but will give the bones of it & answer any questions which arise (so I'm not intentionally drip feeding)
My dbro is older than me, married, no children, they live about 60/70 miles away.
A few months ago I grew concerned for him as none of us had seen him or heard from him in ages (weeks). I drove to his house one evening and found him in a bad place, his wife was living with her mother but had returned that day (we knew none of this) and they were rowing.
He said he wanted to die, she said he should get on with it.
I spoke to my brother, made it clear he needed to see a doctor, so he came home with me and I took him the next day.
He stayed with another family member for a few days (his wife and her mother rang me and shouted at me, saying he had been mentally ill for years (no one told us, due to distance we wouldn't have seen him very often)
(I'm getting there, I promise) they were apart for a couple of months, police, solicitors letters involved. I kept getting silent calls from a withheld number.
He told me that a lot of their rows centred on me helping him leave the house that night, taking him for help.
They're back together & making a go of it. He doesn't reply to any of my calls, he doesn't reply to any text messages.
I'm having a party to mark an event at the end of this month, I don't want to leave anyone out deliberately, I'd like my brother to come, but she has said a lot of wicked things about me & I don't want her here. I also don't want him to have to choose if he comes alone, so am I better not inviting them? Do I invite them both even though i don't want her in my house? We're part of a big family & it's the done thing to ask everyone.
I feel sick at the thought of it. WWYD?
(Thanks if you've made it this far)